


Liar Liar

by Scruffy_Wolf



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Hale Family, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Hale Fire, Erica finds everything hilarious, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hale Family Reunion, Laura is a meddler, M/M, Stiles just wants to go on Holiday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2013-07-26
Packaged: 2017-12-17 19:42:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/871279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scruffy_Wolf/pseuds/Scruffy_Wolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek didn't even <i>like</i> Stiles Stilinski, but with Laura paying him a surprise visit he needed a pretend partner and he needed one <i>fast</i>. Stiles just happened to be in the right place at the right time.</p><p>Completely coincidentally of course; it didn't have anything to do with the crush Derek had on Stiles for months. That was purely physical anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Adorable is not the word.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there, big thanks to [Juily](http://officerstilinskihale.tumblr.com) for beta-ing, I uh, hope you enjoy the fic?

The thing about Stiles Stilinski was that he was a Grade A dick. 

Derek didn't understand why anyone _liked_ him, god damn it. He was cute, yeah, in this almost angelic cherub way that almost made you forget what an asshole he was, until he would eat all your cereal bars that he didn’t even like, just to spite you for refusing to play video games with him or something. 

"Erica, why does he have to be here _all the time_ ," Derek whined as soon as he was in the door. Stiles was sprawled out on his couch upside down with his legs hanging over the back, not paying too much attention to the game while _Erica_ sat as close as she possible could to the screen. 

"Erica, why does your cousin hang out with us so much?" Stiles bit back. "Can you not get him to buzz off back to where he came from?"

"I _live_ here," Derek snapped. He threw his keys in a dish by the door and hung up his jacket before trudging through to the kitchen and switching on the kettle.  "Why are you here so much?"

"Sexiled, mainly," Stiles replied. Stiles’ roommate, Scott, had started dating someone a month prior, and they kept having noisy day sex. And noisy night sex. And noisy morning sex. Really noisy all-the-time sex. 

Derek winced, as he prepared a steaming mug of coffee, hearing the pew pew of guns continue before Erica yelled in triumph.

"Do-over! I wasn't paying attention!" Stiles yelled. 

Derek took his moment, heading back into the living room, dropping the coffee down onto the table and lunging to switch the X-Box off at the wall.

"NOOOOO!" Stiles yelled, lunging off of the sofa toward Derek. Erica ducked out the way and Stiles landed half on the coffee table, half on Derek, arms flying out  as he tried to hit the wall switch. The coffee shook ominously and Derek grabbed him by the shoulders and twisted him around, legs flying through the air before he landed on his back. 

"Lemmie up!" Stiles yelled, wiggling under Derek.

"No, I'm _sick_ of you two hogging the TV. I wanna watch my shows."

"Derek!" Stiles whined, shoulders pushing against him again. Derek held him down firmly, "When you pay rent you can choose what the TV do-"

Erica cackled from the couch, lunging for the remote before the _Friends_ theme tune filled the living room. Derek and Stiles froze, heads turning slowly to see Erica sitting cross legged in the middle of the couch; remotes clenched tightly in her hands. "You snooze, you lose, now march your loosing buts over to this couch and watch Monica and Chandler do it in a bath."

Derek sighed in defeat, letting go of Stiles who wormed his way to his feet, dusting himself off. He was about to drop down onto the sofa next to Erica when he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. He pulled it out and frowned at the screen, _Laura_ , what did she want?

He headed to the kitchen for some quiet, closing the door firmly behind him. There was no point trying to talk in the living room, Erica and Stiles would just moan until he left.

"So," his sister said slyly, as soon as he picked up. "Have you got someone special yet?"

"Laura," Derek whined. "Drop it, please."

Laura was asexual aromatic, and ever since she had come out and had Nana Hale sobbing over the lack of grand children, Derek's love life was her 1st priority, just above Cora's love life. She called him about it twice a week to whine about how pathetically single he was. He didn't know why he still took her calls.

"I'm sick of This martyr thing you've got going on," Laura sighed exasperatedly. "So your ex is an evil bitch; I'm sure at least 90% of the population share that sentiment."

"Laura, she was the queen of evil bitches."

"It's been, like 18 months," Laura pointed out. "C'mon little bro, you gotta move on, and the best way to do that is by moving under someone. Look, if you want, I can set you up with a friend of mine?"

Derek didn't know why he decided what he did; maybe because he was sick of Laura, or maybe because he didn't actually enjoy being alone, but whatever the reason was he regretted it almost immediately.

"I'm seeing someone," Derek blurted out.

There was a pause.

"No wait, really?! Oh my god, you have to tell mom, wait, can I tell mom? She's gonna be so happy!" Laura said gleefully.

Derek slumped against the wall, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Let's just leave mom out of this for now, please? I mean it's still pretty new."

Laura paused and sighed, "Whatever you want little bro. You still coming home for easter?"

"Yeah I'm leaving on Saturday, I don't really have a choice, do I?"

"Well, it is your birthday party," Laura said, rather businesslike. "C'mon, the whole families there, it'll be fun!"

"You and I have very different definitions for the word 'fun'."

"You're turning 25, not 40, it's not the time for a midlife crises," Laura said, exasperatedly.

Derek didn't reply, but he assumed that Laura knew he was glaring at her over the phone.

"Anyway, Mr. Grump, I'll Skype with you Wednesday. I'm leaving town Thursday to head home; Cora's got a boyfriend I need to interrogate."

"Thursday? That's soon."

"Eh, I'm off anyway, and I'm a better daughter than you are a son. I'm off, I'll talk to you later, kid."

Laura made a kiss-ey sound, and the line went dead. Derek groaned, head banging off of the wall. He was fucked.

He headed back to the living room, and went headfirst over the back of the couch, sliding down between Stiles and Erica so that his head was level with their knees.

"Laura?" Erica asked, unsympathetically.

 "Urrrrggghhhh," Derek moaned.

"At least you've got plans for Easter," Stiles moaned. "I come from California. You know how far away that is?"

"I'm vaguely aware."

"Good, 'cause Scott certainly isn't. He suggested we drive home. Drive! It takes two days straight, never mind time to, y'know, sleep."

Derek tipped his head back, watching the TV upside down. "You could've done it, made a road trip out of it, three days there, three days back and eight days home."

Erica barked out a laugh, "Oh I'm sorry, but road tripping across country with Scott?"

"Hey!" Stiles glared at her, "Scott is a wonderful person, who I am super glad to have as my lifelong friend."

"If Scott's so wonderful then why are you spending all your time here then?" Erica asked archly.

Stiles sighed, "Fine, his Allison obsession is mildly irritating, I can't spend three days in a car though, I'll go insane. He'll kill me, I'll be the most irritating passenger that ever existed."

Derek rolled his eyes, "I can believe that."

Stiles punched him, before he sighed, "I'm gonna have such a boring easter break though, I mean, Scott's gonna spend the holidays with his dad's family and you guys are gone."

Erica reached over and ruffled his hair, "I'll text you pictures of Derek being grumpy to make you feel better?"

"I'd like that."

**~**

They had the Thursday off for some unknown reason, Derek didn't know or ask why, afraid to look a gift horse in the mouth. He guessed vaguely that it was to do with some sort of Strike or public holiday. 

Erica and Derek had become Gym Buddies when she first moved in; it's what they had bonded over. While they were family, they'd come from a big family and hadn't interacted much as kids. His aunt had called and asked if Erica could move in with him when they found out Derek was starting grad school in New York; Erica had epilepsy and they didn't want her in dorms since they couldn't seizure proof the place but it was only supposed to be one year. That was when she was a freshman, Erica was now a sophomore and showed no signs of moving.

("They're horrendously overprotective after I had one accident in gym class involving a climbing wall, and I chipped a tooth" Erica explained to him over dinner tapping her front tooth with a long, polished nail. "Technically I'm not supposed to close the bathroom door, or climb on top of step ladders to change lightbulbs. How about, as a compromise, I'll not lock my bathroom door and if you think I'm drowning in there you can come through that one and it'll stop you from accidentally bursting in on me in the shower."

The only bathroom in their place was in between their two bedrooms, and had a door into each. Derek and Erica had both forgotten to lock it on occasion, and it had gotten to the point where it was almost not embarrassing anymore.)

Her mom had said she technically wasn't allowed to do bench presses or weighted squats, or anything that could result in her getting hurt really, but Derek just made sure she always had a spotter, she'd protested at first, but eventually just accepted it.

("Seriously, Derek," she said, as he hovered above her. "I've not had a seizure in years, you don't need to do this." 

"Having a good spotter is common sense, I'd be doing this if you weren't epileptic," he had told her.)

He and Erica went to the gym four times a week, mostly focusing on strength training, but Erica ensured he got enough cardio training, and Derek ensured she actually went to the gym. 

"Erica!" he yelled, banging on her bedroom door.

He heard a groan from the couch and flipped his head around to see Stiles lazily sitting up, legs strewn haphazardly along the arms. He gave a yawn, and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, "God, did I fall asleep here?"

"Apparently," Derek answered before turning back around and banging on Erica's door again. " _ERICA_ , get your ass out of bed or I'm coming in there!"

Erica promptly appeared at the door, in tiny shorts and a baggy T-shirt slung over a sports bra. "C'mon, like I was gonna forget. Stiles, you coming with us?"

"What? hahaha. No," Stiles called, face hidden behind the couch. "It's Saturday, I plan on staying here till 12 then maybe heading home in the hope that Scott and Allison aren't having day sex."

Erica rolled her eyes, "C'mon, you're gonna pack on that freshman 15 if you're not careful."

"Uh, 1. I'm not a freshman any more, I'm older than you," Stiles said, pulling himself up to face them. "2. I've got an awesome metabolism, and 3. If I put on 15 pounds, then I put on 15 pounds, and I'm okay with that fact."

"C'mon, Stiles," Erica whined, "I know you go to the gym, that's where I met you!"

"Yeah, I go with Scott. I've seen you two at the gym, you're crazy."

Erica rolled her eyes at him, "I promise we'll go easy on you, won't we Derek?"

Derek had wandered through to the kitchen during this talk, grabbing their water bottles, cereal bars and a small tub of protein powder. He poked his head back into the living room, and frowned, "I heard my name, what is it?"

"We'll go easy on Stiles, won't we?"

 "Uh, no."

"Don't listen to Derek," Erica assured him. "C'mon, we'll drive by your place on the way to the gym and get you some clothes. You've got your jeep, right?"

"Urggghghhhhhhhh," Stiles groaned, head slumped back. "I hate you all."

Derek was forced into the backseat of the Jeep for the journey to the gym, with a lot of protesting. 

("I've got like six inches on you, Erica."

"There's a joke I want to make, but we're related so it would be horribly inappropriate."

"Ha ha very funny, seriously though, my legs won't fit back there."

"Well it sucks to be you; I called shotgun.")

They pulled up to Stiles apartment block, Erica turned up the radio as Stiles swung out of the Jeep. 

"So, how's the final year going?"

Derek sighed, "Fine. Not fine. I don't know. I've not really got time for spring break, I've got a heck of a lot of undergrad work to grade, I need to start studying, y'know, final year and all that shit."

Erica nodded.

"I don't really want to think about it. You declared a major yet?"

Erica groaned, throwing her head back against the car seat. "Don't you get on at me too. Christ, I get that enough from my advisor."

"Well have you narrowed it down at all?" Derek frowned.

"Maybe Psychology? I don't know though, I'm thinking about it." 

Derek nodded at her, and they watched as Stiles came bursting out of the apartment block, backpack slung over his shoulder. The drive to the gym was relatively quick, and there was plenty of parking

Erica made friendly conversation with the clerk behind the desk who waved her in, as Derek and Stiles struggled to find their membership cards, then followed her into the gym hall.

"Uh, I'm gonna duck into the changing rooms to get ready," Stiles said, hovering awkwardly behind them.

"We'll be in back, in the weights room warming up, come and join us when you're changed," Erica nodded, strutting ahead of the two of them.

Stiles saluted Derek, and turned towards the changing rooms. Derek followed after Erica in through the back and past all the sweaty, grunting men, to the mats pinned up in the back corner.

Derek was relieved to find that there was no one sitting on the mats already; They were meant to wait, but on occasion Erica had glared people into leaving. Once she made someone cry. 

They pulled down their mats, before digging out their skipping ropes. Erica sat down, tugging on her trainers as Derek started to skip quickly. 

Erica got back to her feet and was pulling off her t-shirt, and making quite the show of it. There were changing rooms, which they were welcome to use, but Erica said that since she exercised in just her crop top anyway it was just like pulling off a sweater and why should she bother going all the way to the changing rooms to pull of a sweater?

It wasn't like a sweater. People stared. 

She arched her back, and pulled her head out through the neck hole with an almost graceful flourish, tossing her hair out around her. "You're ridiculous, I don't know why I put up with you," Derek snapped, as she pulled her hair into a bun.

"You think I care?" She rolled her eyes at him, before her gaze focused on Stiles, who was falling into the weights room. "God, he's uncoordinated."

Derek shrugged and Erica started skipping next to him, their ropes slapping off the mat loudly. "He's got energy at least."

"Energy doesn't always equal stamina, Der."

"You're a horrible person," he said without looking over. He was sure she was batting her eyelashes innocently at him now. "You and I both know what you meant there."

They watched as Stiles tried to get onto on of the stationary bikes, the seat was too low for him, so once he managed to get on, his knees were up around his elbows.

Erica frowned. "He's awful at this."

They skipped on for a moment, watching Stiles struggle to cycle before he finally got back off, put the seat up and jumped back on.

Derek and Erica kept skipping, watching as Stiles legs flew faster on the pedals.

"Ten burpees," Derek ordered. Erica huffed and dropped to the floor. 

Once she had finished she picked back up her rope and started to skip alongside Derek.

"I told you he's bi, right?" She asked him.

"Definitely not interested."

"Pfft," Erica huffed, smirking at him. "Yeah right, I've seen the way you look at him when he's sprawled on our couch; he's like your perfect type, slender, long fingers-"

"Erica! How do you even know my type?"

Derek was sure she would've given him a dismissive hand wave if she hadn't been skipping. "You have the best porn."

"That's password protected!" Derek squeaked.

"Yeah, I cracked your password in my first year, it wasn't hard."

"Erica! Drop it, seriously."

She sighed, exasperatedly, before the grin wormed it's way back onto her face. "Well then, if you're not going to go for him, then maybe I will," she mused.

"Sprint." Derek ordered, deciding that ignoring her was the best course of action with Erica.

"You're. No. Fun." Erica huffed out as the ropes spun faster, and their knees lifted higher.

"And yet, you still hang out with me," Derek said. 

Erica had just finished sprinting and was slowing down to a regular pace, when their workout session was interrupted by a rather brash looking girl, standing in front of them with her arms crossed, chewing some gum loudly. 

The girl tossed her hip out and flipped some hair over her shoulders, and Derek could almost feel Erica's hackles go up. For someone who frequently wore revealing clothing and make-up to the gym, she got awful uppity when other people did it.

(I'm trying to be a better person and give them the benefit of the doubt, but I exercise at the gym. They man hunt."

"You man hunt."

"Yeah, but I also can bench 120 lbs."

"Maybe, on a good day.")

"So, yeah, um," the girl started, Californian accent ringing out in every syllable. Derek winced.

"I don't think it's uh, very sporting of you two to be using the yoga mats. I mean, you're not even _meant_ to be on them in shoes," She narrowed her eyes at Erica, who was still skipping, and making a good show of ignoring her. "Could you just stop skipping for two seconds while I'm talking to you? It's really rude."

Erica dropped her rope with an eye roll and put her hands onto her hips, back arched to show off her flat stomach. Women intimidated each other in strange ways.

"Well," Erica said, with a creepily cheerful smile. "I think it's really rude that you're chewing with your mouth open, and I also think it's really rude that you decided that you had some right to ask for the mats, just because me and my friend here are skipping at the moment."

Derek rolled his eyes, speeding up the rope.

"You're not even using the yoga mats!" the girl whined.

"Uh, honey," Erica started. "If you call it a yoga mat one more time, I'm going to punch you. If you want to do yoga, go to a yoga class, don't take up gym space. And we are using the mats, because at any moment, I can yell 10 push-ups and he'll do them like so;" Erica said, gesturing to Derek who dropped to the ground and started doing the press ups Erica had ordered.

The girl stamped her foot, and turned on her heel, marching from the weights room, back into the cardio section.

Erica grinned as Derek hopped to his feet and started skipping.

"Erica, If you make one more first year cry they're gonna kick us out of here."

"She's not gonna tell the desk that the scary blond girl made her cry," Erica shrugged, dropping to the floor to start burpees. 

"She's too proud," she finished, before adding; "Are we almost warmed up yet?"

"30 crunches."

"You're going easy on me," she grinned, swiveling around on the mat to lie on her back. Derek dropped the ropes and fell to the floor, following her example 

"40 then," he said, bring his shoulders up off the mat, hands on his shoulders. 

"50," Erica said, barley breaking a sweat. 

They finished up their warm up, and Derek headed through to the cardio room to see if Stiles wanted to come and follow their weights routine, Erica staying to pack up and wipe down the mats.

"Stiles," Derek said. 

Stiles tugged out an earphone, there was a layer of sweat shining on his forehead, and the sweat patches had started to form under his arms. Derek was sure he was a pervert for getting slightly turned on by it.

"Dude, what?"

"Uh, me and Erica are done warming up, you wanna come do weights?"

"Weights?" Stiles scrunched up his nose. "I'm no good at weights."

"We'll start you off on a low weight then, how about that?" Derek offered.

"Urgh, fine," Stiles said, swinging his legs off the bike and grabbing his water bottle before following Derek into the weight room.

It turned out Stiles was really inexperienced in weight training, partly because he hated going to the gym, and partly because he had no one pushing him since Scott got loved up. 

One of Erica's gym friends was working out at the same time, so Erica went and spotted for him, using her strangely aggressive brand of flirting. Erica and Boyd had been circling each other for weeks, Derek gave them at most two gym sessions before either one of them asked the other out, or they cracked and had sex in the changing rooms. 

Derek was careful not to push himself with Stiles spotting for him, he didn't fully trust Stiles ability to catch 300 pounds before it suffocated Derek.

After they had finished their regime for the day, (leg press, leg extension, bench press, pull down machine, weight squats, pull ups and the shoulder press,) Derek went to tap on Erica's shoulder, who was still quite wrapped up in Boyd

"Erica, are we going or what?" He asked.

"Uh... I think I'm gonna take Boyd here out to coffee," she said, not looking away from the surprised looking boy.

"Who, me?" Boyd asked, his voice a deep rumble.

"Yeah, you," Erica grinned back, before bumping his hip with hers. 

Derek resisted the urge to face palm, "Fine, I don't want to know, just leave me out of it."

"Urgh, you're such a spoiltsport, who else do I have to gossip to?" Erica asked him with an eye roll.

"I have incriminating photographs, Erica Reyes, and I will not hesitate to use them."

She sighed, and flounced past him, dragging Boyd with her.

**~**

Stiles ended up going home with Derek after the gym; Derek didn't ask why.

"I've got to grade some papers," Derek told Stiles, as he unlocked the door to his apartment. "I hope you're not expecting me to entertain you."

"Nah, I'm fine dude, have you got food for dinner in?"

"Uh, you can have whatever you can scrounge from the fridge," Derek offered, pushing open the door and throwing the keys into their key dish. Stiles ducked around behind him and headed through into the kitchen. 

 "You want food?" Stiles called.

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind," Derek replied, before heading through to his bedroom, and grabbing the pile of papers off of his desk. He sighed, picked up his laptop and the red pen, then headed back through to the living room, and deposited himself on the couch. 

"Can I use this?" Stiles asked, head poking out of the kitchen doorway, waving an avocado at him. 

"Go for it," Derek said, opening up the laptop and booting it up. He'd never been much of a computer fan, and his was starting to get on in age by now, so the sheer effort of logging on made him want to punch the screen. His head slumped back against the couch and he let out a groan. He could hear Stiles bashing about in the kitchen, and the steady sound of chopping. As the laptop sat, loading up, Derek picked up the first paper from the pile, red pen held between his teeth.

He lost track of time, sitting there reading through the 1st years butchered analyses, before Stiles came back through, clutching  two plates of pasta with a green sauce. Derek grabbed the plate, and started to use his left hand to hold the fork and his right to continue marking, until Stiles reached over and grabbed the pen out of his hand.

"Dude, take a fifteen minute break, it'll be fine."

Derek sighed and sat up straight, "Fine."

"You can't be that busy, surely?"

Derek raised his eyebrows, "Stiles I'm in my final year of my Masters, and my family are making me take a week off to celebrate my birthday. I've got a seemingly endless supply of essays to grade, not to mention the deadline for my thesis is _terrifyingly_ close, and I've got examinations I need to prep for, and that's just the half of it."

"Why don't you lay off the gym for a bit then?" Stiles said, before pausing to take a bite of pasta. Linguini slurped up his chin, before he wiped it with the back of his sleeve and licked his lips. "I mean, not that us regular mortals don't appreciate the sacrifice that people like yourself and Erica make, because we do; those abs are incredible, but I'm sure you could take a month or so off, no?"

Derek frowned at Stiles, trying to assess if he'd just been hitting on him, but Stiles had already turned back to eating his pasta with a fervent hunger. 

"I get restless if I don't work out."

"Ugh, you're one of those people," Stiles groaned, but he was smiling, one corner of his mouth quirked up.

Derek smiled back, before twisting the last piece of pasta onto his fork and shoving it into his mouth, when there came a knocking at the door. Stiles frowned.

"Don't you have a lock on this building?"

"Yeah," Derek said, head tilted. "A neighbor must've let them in."

Derek put the plate down on the coffee table and got to his feet. The person knocked at the door again, and Derek could've sworn he recognized the knocking pattern.

 _Who was that?_ Derek though to himself, as he undid the catch on the door. He pulled it open, and his stomach sank at the all too familiar figure leaning in his doorway, looking over the top of her aviators at him.

"Hey there, baby bro," Laura grinned.

**~**

"Well, don't look so pleased to see me," She grinned at him. 

Laura stood up straight, wrinkling her nose. She was painfully familiar, wearing her old leather jacket, smirking at him with one corner of her mouth. There were new lines around the corners of her mouth, and a sunny tan that she didn't have last time he saw her, but she was still fundamentally Laura.

"Laura, I'd say it was nice-" Derek started

Laura rolled her eyes, and grabbed in into a tight hug. He clung to her tightly, chin resting on her head. "You stop with the sass for two minutes, baby bro, it's been way too fucking long."

Derek sighed, patting her back, "You said that Cora had a boyfriend that you needed to interrogate."

"Cora, Derek, boyfriend, girlfriend, names and words get so confusing sometimes,' Laura smiled wickedly. "I want to meet whatever unsuspecting mortal you conned into liking you Derek!"

  Derek's stomach clenched again. So she remembered that.

"Yeah, about that..."

"I know, I know, it's new and all that, and you don't want to scare them, but I am so excited you finally managed to find someone," Laura said, slinging her arm across Derek's shoulders and guiding him into the apartment. 

Derek groaned internally.

"So, tell me about them? I mean, you were careful with pronouns, is it a dude? Tell me it's a dude, Grandma's gonna be _freaked_."

"Uh," Derek muttered, before he heard a smash coming from the kitchen. Derek's head whipped around, before Stiles appeared, chewing on his lip. 

Stiles.

Stiles was single.

 _Oh please play along,_ Derek silently pleaded. "Uh, Laura, this is Stiles," Derek said, walking to stand beside Stiles, before slinging an arm around Stiles waist. "My boyfriend.”

He tightened his grip on Stiles waist, watching him as he tried to hide his look of surprise. Derek tried to give him a look that said _'please, please do this for me',_ but he didn't think like it was very well conveyed. 

"Boyfriend?" Stiles squeaked.

Oh god.

Laura raised an eyebrow, "Uh... you seem surprised."

Stiles glanced at Derek, eyes still wide. "No, um... I mean... I just didn't realize we were telling family. You know what Derek's like," Stiles said quickly. "He can be pretty... guarded."

He was going along with it.

Oh my god, he was going along with it. 

 _Hallelujah_. 

Laura barked out a laugh, and pulled Stiles into a hug, before holding him at arms length. "God, I don't even care that you look like you're 12, or that you have a ridiculous name, I've just gotta say thank you for taking one for the team and dating my emotionally constipated baby brother."

Stiles rolled his eyes, and reached over to pat Derek's stomach, "I dunno if you've seen your brother's abs, but it's not exactly taking one for the team."

Derek's eyes boggled.

Laura laughed again and pulled Stiles in for a hug. "I like this one, he's a keeper."

She let go of Stiles, "So, you got space for your loving sister here?"

"Uh," Derek frowned. 

"Yeah, the couch pulls out," Stiles added, bumping his hip against Derek's lightly. "I should head home tonight anyway, babe."

Derek's head snapped up, blush speaking across his face, as he clenched his jaw.

Laura beamed at them.

"Anyway then," Stiles pulled away and grabbed his backpack sitting by the couch. "I'd better go."

"I'll walk you down," Derek offered, "I mean, you'll be okay here, right, Laura?"

Laura waved her hand at them, "I can entertain myself, boys, don't worry about it."

Derek nodded, hesitantly, before he moved past Laura, and twisted the key in his bedroom door. He pocketed the key and rolled his eyes at her mock offended look.

"Laura, you are like queen snoop, I'll be back in like two minutes," Derek said, grabbing his car keys, and following Stiles to the door.

Stiles waved at Laura, before slinging his coat on. "It was nice meeting you, Laura, I'll be seeing you around."

He waved, and rushed out of the apartment, dragging Derek by the hand. They ran down the stairs in silence, then got to the Jeep before Stiles started to talk.

"What. The. Hell. Dude?" Stiles said, waving his hands as he leaned against the door to the jeep. 

Derek winced, slowly turning his head to face Stiles. "Uh..."

"So what? Your sister thinks I'm your boyfriend now? _Why?"_

Derek groaned, closing his eyes tight. "Laura is a meddler."

"That doesn't explain what just happened there, Der."

Derek sighed, wincing slightly as he glanced over at Stiles. He was grinning at him, almost as if he might start laughing at any moment, it was infectious.

_You are a mess, Derek Hale, get your act together._

Derek's gaze snapped back to the floor, and he exhaled, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"She's been badgering me about dating someone for months, twice a week, like clockwork. The last time she phoned she was really hammering home about moving on with my life," Derek grimaced. "There was brief discussions of a set up, so I just said I'd been seeing someone to shut her up. I thought I could play it by ear it at the family reunion, pretend to be broken up by summer and it'd all be fine, I didn't know she was coming _here_."

"So you panicked," Stiles finished with a laugh. "Dude, that's fine, what do I need to come to dinner with you and Laura or something?"

"What?" Derek frowned.

"To pretend to be your boyfriend? What do you need me to do, come to dinner or something?" Stiles offered, voice sure and steady.

Derek blinked, "Really?"

"Yeah, dude, but I'm definitely calling in this favour, some time," Stiles said seriously.

"Uh, thanks, so yeah, we're heading up to Boston on Saturday, uh you'd probably need to hang around here a bit," Derek said, wringing his hands.

Stiles laughed, "What, and I don't hang around here already?"

Derek ignored him, "I mean, if you don't want to, then I can say you were going home for spring break or something..."

Stiles rolled his eyes, "Dude, calm it, I can pretend to be your fresh squeeze-"

"Please don't ever say that."

"-for a few days, it's no problem," Stiles continued, ignoring Derek's interruption. "Although I ask that when we go for dinner you follow my lead, I'm a very believable liar, I could totally pretend to be into you."

Derek smiled weekly at Stiles, "Deal."

Stiles grinned back at him, and Derek's stomach twisted. It wasn't like butterflies, butterflies were too pleasant for what he was feeling, He couldn't like Stiles, Stiles was.... _Ridiculous._ Not to mention irritating, and obnoxious, and loud, and he never left their place.

Also he was totally not attracted to Derek. Not that Derek was bitter or anything.

"I'm gonna get going then, okay? I'll see you tomorrow dude."

Derek waved him off as Stiles clambered into his car and 

**~**

"So is that the Stiles you talk about on the phone?" Laura asked him the minute he got in the door.

"No, I know more than one person called ' _Stiles.’”_

Laura held her hands up, "I was just asking, Der, so how come Stiles doesn't have any clothes here?" 

Derek winced, "C'mon, Laura, I _locked_ my door."

Laura rolled her eyes at him, getting up from the Sofa and heading through to the kitchen, "Went through the bathroom room, via Erica's room. You should really get a lock on your door for that too," Laura said, before Derek heard the telltale sound of the kettle boiling.

"I don't know," Derek said, falling backwards onto the couch, "We're not at that point. We've only been dating like a few weeks."

He stared at the ceiling, before a mug was thrust into his hands, and Laura settled herself on the beanbag chair. "Really, Derek? Cause I'm pretty sure those coco pops aren't yours or Erica's," she said, smugly.

"God, is there nothing you won't snoop through?"

"Eh, It's been a while since I've seen you, baby bro."

"Stop calling me that, I'm twenty five."

"You're twenty four for another week, make the most of it."

"Just 'cause you're freaking out about being an adult doesn't mean we're all afraid to grow up," Derek bit back, reaching over and dropping the mug down on the coffee table. "Anyway, I mean, he has shirts here sometimes, he's taken laundry home."

Derek couldn't see her, he was too fixated on the small hole he spotted in the ceiling, but he imagined she was giving him a curious head tilt. 

"I'm not doing his laundry, we're not that serious, would you back off?"

"I didn't say a thing, Derrie."

"Stop calling me that, too," Derek growled. "Seriously, I'll make you sleep on the floor.

"It'd be an improvement on that couch; I don't know if you noticed, but I'm pretty tall."

Derek heard his phone ding, and lifted his hips up to dig it out of his pocket. It was Stiles.

_-Stiles, 5:03pm_

**I've texted Erica a heads up. You're welcome.**

Derek winced. Erica. He was never gonna live this one down.

"Cheer up there, Derrie," Laura said, leaning over to pinch Derek's cheek, _hard._ "Plus, your boyfriend is _adorable."_

  "Adorable's not the word," Derek muttered.


	2. Meeting the Family

Laura had decided that since it had been so long since she'd been in the city, she was going to spend the afternoon shopping. She left at 11am, then by 12pm, Laura texted Derek to inform them she'd booked them into some fancy fusion Thai place for dinner, at 6:30, and he was to put on a shirt. 

Derek texted Stiles, to ask if that was okay, and Stiles took this as permission to come around. He appeared after his classes finished for the day with a backpack full of clean clothes and some snacks to make it look more like they were dating. Derek pointed out that they may have been overselling it, but Stiles brushed off his concerns.

"Derek, you haven’t dated anyone in like a year, then suddenly out of the blue, when you're in the middle of getting offered a set-up, you have a boyfriend? Dude, it's suspicious is all I'm saying. Now just follow my lead and give me a drawer."

"We're not at the drawer stage," Derek said stubbornly. "I told her that last night."

Stiles rolled his eyes, "We are at the drawer stage because you're hideously in love with me, and I'm a pusher."

Stiles shoved past him into Derek's bedroom, and started pulling open the chest of drawers. "This one's pretty much empty, if you just hang up these two pairs of jeans then I can have it."

Derek glared at him, as he shoved the jeans into Stiles’ arms, but Stiles ignored him and wrenched open his backpack, putting a couple T-shirts, a pair of jeans and a handful of underwear into the drawer. "Dude, I've got some shirts, you mind if I hang them in the wardrobe?"

"She's here for four days," Derek said as a reply. Stiles ignored him and headed to the wardrobe, hanging up a handful of plaid.

"Yeah, and what if any other family members decide to drop by before we 'break up'" he said, using his fingers for air quotes. "I don't need this stuff all that much, I've got a load of T-shirts, I can leave some here."

Derek sighed, "Uh, thanks for this."

"Don't worry 'bout it, now like I said, follow my lead at dinner. What's dress code by they way?"

"Have you got a shirt that _isn’t_ plaid?"

"I resent that implication," Stiles said, pulling out a dark blue shirt from the back of the wardrobe. "Lydia- you know Lydia, right?"

"No."

"Strawberry Blonde? Five three, green eyes?"

"Still no."

"C'mon dude, I've taken you to one of her parties before, no dude doesn't notice Lydia Martin, well at least no dude below a Kinsey 5," Stiles said.

“What is a Kinsey 5?” Derek repeated brow furrowing.

Stiles looked at him incredulously, “Seriously? C’mon dude, the Kinsey scale, it’s like the sliding scale of sexuality? No? Not ringing anybells? Well like a 1 is _completely 100%_ straight and a 6 is 100% gay then there’s everything inbetween. Anyway, Lydia, she's a goddess-"

"I'm so glad we're not dating,” Derek sighed.

Stiles glared at him, "Rude. Anyway, Lydia bought me the shirt when she needed a date to some fancy ball thing and she was pissed at Jackson."

"I don't know who _any_ of these people are," Derek said, deadpan.

"It came with a whole waistcoat and trousers but they're a bit... _ostentatious_ , for dinner with Laura."

Derek raised his eyebrows, but Stiles just laughed. "I'm gonna go get changed for dinner, do you need a shower or anything?"

"No, I'm fine, let's just get this over with."

Stiles ducked into the bathroom, and Derek headed back through to the kitchen. He switched on the kettle, and was lost in thought when he heard Stiles clearing his throat behind him.

Christ, Stiles scrubbed up well, the shirt was well fitted for him, and left slightly open at the neck, the dark blue was well suited to his skin tone. His hair was tousled, and still slightly damp.

He started to roll up his sleeves, and fuck, that shouldn't of been as god damn hot as it was. Derek was hypnotized by Stiles fingers, and the strong arms covered by a surprising amount of hair. Those were hands which could do things.

Stiles frowned, "What?"

"Nothing," Derek swallowed, clenching his fists as he tried to recite the periodic table.

Stiles glanced down at his sleeves and shook his head, "You're right, I should at least start the night smartly."

Stiles rolled back down his sleeves, before he bent down and pulled out a small box from his bag. Cufflinks.  Derek couldn't keep himself from staring at Stiles' hands as he fastened the cufflinks, trying not to let himself picture Stiles _doing_ things to him with those fingers.

Stiles blinked up at him, "C'mon, you're not wearing that, are you?"

Derek looked down at himself, "What's wrong with it?"

"Laura said to wear a shirt," Stiles said slowly. 

"Yeah, well this is a nice T-shirt, and I mean, T-shirt, the words in the name," Derek tried.

"Nope," Stiles said shaking his head and taking a step towards him, grabbing the hem of his shirt. "C'mon, get it off."

Derek's shoulders fell, and he blushed as Stiles tore his shirt off and pushed him into the bedroom. Stiles seemed un-affected however, and Derek internally winced that he was so de-sexualized in Stiles’ eyes. He needed to get a grip on himself, rather than crushing on some unwitting undergrad who was doing him a favor; if he fucked this up then Erica would never forgive him for ruining her friendship with Stiles.

Derek turned his back to Stiles and opened up his closet, before grabbing a white dress top and holding it out for Stiles to see, "Is this okay?"

"A shirt, Derek."

Derek's shoulders slumped, and he turned around, hung back up his top and pulled out a cream button down. "What about this?"

'It's linen, it's not exactly smart."

Derek sighed, lips thinning, before finally pulling out a black shirt. "Please, can I wear this?"

Stiles head tilted, lips pursed, "Yeah but not with those jeans, it's too much black."

"I'm gonna kill you," Derek warned, pulling the shirt over his shoulders, he looked down, fiddling with the buttons. When he looked back up Stiles had busied himself looking through his book shelf. 

 Maybe he didn't like abs. Maybe Erica had lied and he wasn't bi. Whatever the truth, Derek didn't think his chances were very good. "C'mon then, let's go get dinner with Laura."

**~**

Laura met them at the restaurant, in a brand new outfit she'd bought earlier that day; they passed her car in the car park, and the back seat was _full_ of bags. 

Stiles grabbed his hand as they were escorted to the table, running a thumb soothingly over Derek's. "Laura," Derek said, leaning over to kiss her cheek. She rolled her eyes at him, then kissed Stiles’ cheek too and gestured for them to sit. 

Stiles picked up the menu and paled. Derek frowned, grabbing one off of the table and opening it up. His eyes went wide at the price. 

"Laura," Derek hissed. "I am a student. That's not a profession that comes with wild amounts of cash!"

"I've got this, bro," Laura said easily. "You too, Stiles, my treat."

"Laura, I couldn't," Stiles tried, but she reached over and hit him around the back of the head. 

"No buts, my treat, get what you want."

Stiles chewed on his lip, and Derek stared at him momentarily before Laura cleared her throat, smirking at the two of them. Derek blushed and looked down at the menu, trying to figure out the cheapest thing to order. 

"So," Laura said, after a minute, putting down her menu, "What-"

A waiter stopped at their table, smiling politely at them. 

"Good evening there, can I get you all a drink?" He asked.

"Yeah, and uh, I think we're ready to order," Laura said, before glancing at the boys for confirmation. "Are we ready?"

"Yeah," Derek nodded, looking at Stiles, who smiled slightly.

"Right, I would like a bottle of your house Red wine please? And, Derek?"

"Uh, can I just get some tap water please?"

"Make that a jug," Stiles added. Laura rolled her eyes at the two of them. 

"Absolutely not, Derek, you can have a bottle of..." Laura paused, picking up the wine menu, pursing her lips. "The 2011 Livio Felluga Pino Grigio, and Stiles..."

Derek frowned at Stiles who was worrying his lower lip. Probably about imposing or something stupid like that.

"Uh," Derek grabbed the drinks menu from Laura and flicked to the back page. "They do Daiquirís here," he offered. 

Stiles blinked, and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, actually, that sounds like it'd be good, thanks."

"Right then," Laura said, "That's a bottle of the house red, the 2011 Pino Grigio and a Strawberry Daiquiri, got that?"

The waiter nodded. 

"Then for our starter..." Laura paused and looked at Stiles. "You're not allergic or have a deep loathing for anything, do you?"

"Uh, no?"

 "Good, so we'll have a portion of the Satay Chicken, the Vegetable Gyoza and uh... The Gai Yad Sai, I mean the chicken wings, yeah?" Laura said, quickly. The waiter nodded, scribbling it all down quickly. Laura turned and raised an eyebrow at the two of them, "I assume you two are okay with sharing a bit of everything for a starter, yeah?"

Derek and Stiles hastily nodded.

"Good. For a main can I have the jungle curry please?"

The waiter nodded writing it down, before turning to Stiles and Derek, "And for you, sirs?"

"Uh," Stiles faltered at the menu. Derek cut in. 

"I'd like the Red curry with duck please," Derek said, as Stiles still frowned at the menu. 

"Yeah, uh, I'd like the... uh, kaeng pahk wan pa,?" Stiles said, before lifting up the menu to point at the foreign name. "Sorry I'm not really sure how to pronounce that." 

The waiter nodded again and noted down his order, before taking the menus from them and leaving.

"So," Laura said brightly. "I want to hear all about you two."

Stiles laughed, slightly nervously, taking the lead. "Oh, what do you wanna know?"

"Where'd did you meet?" Laura settled on, leaning her chin on her hand.

"Uh, it was like six months ago, we were at the gym and I was lifting weights too heavy," Stiles said, sticking to the truth. "Trying to show off and all that, so my spotter, Scott, had gotten distracted talking to his now current girlfriend, Allison."

Stiles was getting into the telling of the story now, relaxing slightly, his mouth falling into a smile and his shoulders relaxing. "So, Derek and Erica were in the corner, skipping away and doing push ups and being generally all sorts of intimidating, and I'm like choking on the push up bar."

 Stiles was miming being choked by the bar, tongue lolling out and strangled sounds escaping from his throat when the waiter came and put down their drinks without so much as a strange look. Derek thanked him, as Laura peered across the table, excitement evident.

"Go on," she urged.

"So like Erica drops her rope and comes over to help me out, so I invited her and Derek to a party as a kinda thank you? Surprisingly they turned up, though Derek didn't look to happy to be there, and then Erica and I arranged to play Call of Duty together the next afternoon, and then slowly wormed my way into their lives."

Stiles grinned, and reached over to place a kiss on Derek's cheek. "He acts like I annoy him, but he's a big softy really."

Derek rolled his eyes; "You do annoy me. All the time, you keep filling up by cupboards with your crap food and you and Erica hog the T.V."

Laura barked out a laugh. "So, next question, how and when did you start dating?" 

Derek froze, and yelled "One month!" at the same time Stiles easily said "About three, four months."

Derek looked over at Stiles, who was frowning curiously at him. He winced, before turning back to Laura who had a shit-eating grin on her face.

"Three. Or. Four. Months?"

Derek grimaced. 

"Oh baby bro, you thought you'd get away with it, didn't you?"

"What's she talking about, Der?" Stiles asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh did he not tell you?" Laura just about cackled. "Our mom's got this thing about meeting the significant others. Any longer than three months and they have to come to the next family gathering, that's the rule."

Stiles eyes widened, "Oh, well, I mean, we only made it _official-_ "

Laura laughed harder, "Save it, Stiles, it's Derek's birthday and everything, mom will never forgive you for skipping."

Derek groaned, dragging a hand through his hair, "Laura, he doesn't have to go, I mean that rule is-"

"Nope, you're not getting out of this one, Der. You've not brought a girl home in forever."

"I brought Kate home," Derek grumbled.

Laura rolled her eyes, "Once. Then you missed like three family get-togethers."

"We have too many get-togethers."

Laura sighed and turned to Stiles, "So, Stiles, family gathering, Derek's birthday, are you in?"

Stiles blinked and glanced over at Derek, before he laughed nervously. "Do I have a choice?

"That's the spirit!" Laura said joyfully. 

Derek groaned.

**~**

Stiles looped an arm around Derek's waist as he guided him out of the restaurant after Laura had left, insisting on paying for everything.

"What does your sister do?" Stiles hissed into Derek's ear.

"I don't know, she works on a wildlife reserve, but we know it doesn't pay great so whenever we bring up money she says some jargon about investments until we drop it."

Laura unlocked the doors to her shiny Camaro. "Derek you'll have to get in back."

"What? Why can't Stiles go in back?!"

"Oh, thanks honey," Stiles said with an eye roll as he pulled open the car door for Derek. Derek pushed forward the front seat and fell into the back, grumbling. Stiles and Laura sat down and slammed the doors shut.

"Seriously though," Derek grumbled. "I've got two inches on him, my legs are longer, I need shotgun more."

Stiles turned around and frowned at him, before he reached down and pulled the lever to send his seat sliding back as far as it would go. He stuck his tongue out.

"Real mature," Derek muttered, leaning back in his seat.

"Laura, you can just drop me off at my place, I'm on-"

"Don't be silly, just cause I'm here doesn't mean, Stiles can't stay over," Laura said breezily. 

"No, no, you don't have to," Stiles started, waving his hands.

"Seriously, it's fine you two are grown ups, stay, I can deal, just don't be too loud."

Derek groaned, running a hand over his face.

"That's too loud," Laura smirked.

"Kill me now," Derek muttered. 

Laura chuckled once more as the car swerved down into the parking garage under their apartment block. 

Stiles subtly looked back at Derek, raising his eyebrows as if to say, _'what do I do?'_

Derek shook his head. 

Laura parked and she and Stiles got out the car before Stiles pulled the seat forward and let Derek out. Laura and Stiles started chattering as they headed up the stairwell toward Derek and Erica's apartment. 

Derek pushed open the door and slumped into the living room. Erica looked up at him and smiled through a mouthful of popcorn. The dude from the gym was sitting next to her, arm slung around her shoulder.

"How was dinner?" Erica asked brightly. 

"Stiles told Laura we'd been dating for over three months and now she's gonna tell mom."

Erica's eyes widened as the realization kicked in, before she laughed at them, "God, Stiles, you put your foot in it there."

"No one told me about this stupid rule," Stiles said stubbornly, hanging up his jacket on one of the hooks. Laura came up behind him and slung an arm around him, holding him tightly. 

"Lighten up; Derek'll forget all about it in the morning, I mean, he's besotted on you," Laura chirped. 

"Am not," Derek grumbled.

 "Are too, I mean, you always talk about him on the phone."

"He does, does he?" Stiles asked slyly, side-eyeing Derek who felt his cheeks blush.

"Yeah, I mean, I remembered your name as soon as I met you, it's a weird name," Laura said flippantly, letting go of Stiles and sauntering over to the other chair. She reached over and plucked the bowl of popcorn from Erica. Erica glared at her; Erica and Laura had a history of fighting during family gatherings.

"We're gonna finish this in my room," Erica said primly, getting to her feet and hitting the eject button on the DVD player. She tugged Boyd to his feet and dragged him through to her room, slamming the door shut. 

Laura looked up at Derek and Stiles, "What's her problem?" She popped another piece of popcorn into her mouth.

Derek rolled his eyes, "Well, I'm shattered, I'm going to bed, uh..."

Stiles looked over awkwardly at him, blushing slightly. "Uh yeah, we'll see you in the morning, Laura."

Laura raised her hand and waved at them, eyes trained on the T.V. Derek opened the door to his bedroom, and Stiles trailed after him. 

Stiles grabbed his backpack from Derek's desk. "Uh... I'll just go get changed," Stiles said awkwardly gesturing to the bathroom. Derek nodded, and Stiles headed thought to the bathroom, door and lock clicking behind him.

Derek sighed, flopping down onto his bed before he sat back up abruptly.

He didn't think he _had_ pajamas.

He got to his feet and opened his wardrobe up, yanking open the bottom drawer. He managed to find a pair of sweats hanging around under all his underwear, as well as a tank top. 

He yanked on the sleep wear and shut the wardrobe door turning just to see Stiles wearing a pair of Christmas themed pajama pants and an oversized college shirt. He looked ridiculously cute.

Stiles yanked a hand through his hair, "Dude, are we just gonna.... kip together?" 

"Uh, I mean, I don't really wanna sleep on the floor, I don't know about you."

"Nah, it throws my back out now a days if I sleep on the floor."

"You're 21," Derek said simply, pulling back the duvet and frowning at the bed. "You're on the inside."

"I'm the guest," Stiles said stubbornly.

"You're my 3 month boyfriend, thank you very much. This is my place, therefore I get the outside," Derek hissed.

Stiles glared and huffed, before diving in under the duvet, shuffling over to the far wall. Derek climbed in after him and reached over to turn off the light.

"Night Derek," Stiles said cheerfully.

"Urgh," Derek groaned in reply.

"What?"

"I forgot my teeth," Derek whined. "Did you do yours?"

Stiles rolled over and huffed a minty fresh breath in his face, Derek swatted at him, leaning away, "That's gross Stiles."

"What's gross is that you've not done your teeth," Stiles pointed out before pushing back and leaning to kick him in the hip. "Go, you stink."

Derek grumbled and got out of the warm bed to go and brush his teeth, and by the time he got back Stiles was sound asleep. 

**~**

Derek groaned, the bleep bleep of his alarm jerking him to life. He rolled over, pulling the duvet around himself, and found that he was nose to nose with another man. 

Derek jumped back, well, as much as he could jump while lying down in bed, almost rolling off the mattress and taking his duvet with him. He caught himself and sighed as the sleepy Stiles tugged back the duvet and clutched it tightly, grumbling slightly as his features relaxed once more. Derek winced and sat up, swinging his legs out of the bed and trudging over towards the desk where his alarm clock chirped happily. He slapped the top down and it fell silent.

He looked back over at the bed, were Stiles had rolled onto his back, covers thrown off of him and looking a whole lot less peaceful than when Derek had left the bed. One of his legs had tangled up in the sheets with the pajama trouser leg pushed up above his knee, and the T-shirt had also ridden up in the night, exposing the wide expanse of pale flat stomach, with the jut of hip bones and the dusting of hair below his navel. 

His mouth was open, hair mussed and with the golden morning light seeping in the blinds he looked god damn gorgeous, and Derek just wanted to cry about how unfair his life was when Stiles let out an undignified snort and a trickle of drool escaped onto Derek's pillow.

Okay. Not so sexy. Adorable though. Fucking. Adorable. Why did Derek have to have fallen for someone so god damn _adorable?_

He needed to stop using the word adorable. Derek shook his head, Stiles had to get up, 

"Get up," Derek said, grabbing and pulling the duvet off of him. Stiles groaned, curling into a ball. "Get up!"

"You sound like Aunt Petunia," Stiles mumbled. Derek rolled his eyes. 

"We've gotta go all the way back to your place and pack 'cause we're leaving at like 12 o'clock, you need to get out of bed," Derek said, arms crossed across his chest. Stiles opened one bleary eye at him.

"This relationship is the worst," he mumbled, sitting up and stretching out his back. He yawned, scooted to the edge of the bed and tried to stand up, before promptly falling back down clutching his hip. 

"You alright?" Derek asked with a raised eyebrow. 

"Yeah, no, I mean, it's my bad hip playing up... can you just help me to the living room and get me some ice?" Stiles asked hesitantly. 

"Yeah, no problem," Derek said, grabbing Stiles from his waist. Stiles loped an arm over Derek's shoulder and allowed himself to be hoisted up. They limped through to the living room, Derek taking the brunt of his weight. They limped through to the living room where Laura was settled down on the couch with a re-run of 'How I Met Your Mother' on the T.V.. She was wearing a tank top, and some stripy socks with big bunny slippers on and a scrunchie keeping back her hair. 

She had sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, her bowl of cereal resting atop them. She turned around when she heard the door open, smile fading when she saw Stiles limping.  "You alright?" She asked.

Stiles shook his head as Derek maneuvered him onto the couch, flopping down next to Laura with a 'umph'. Derek patted his shoulder before, "I'll go and get you an ice pack, and some cereal."

"D'awww," Laura said, beaming at them.

Derek ignored her, banging on Erica's door before headed through to the kitchen. He grabbed an ice pack which they kept handy in the freezer, and hit the kettle on. As it boiled he wrapped the ice pack in a clean cloth and made up a bowl of coco pops. He made a cup of coffee for all four of them, then balanced the bowl of cereal on top of the mug. He put it down in front of Stiles and handed him the ice pack.

Stiles threw his head back on the couch groaning, before he pulled out the waistband of his pants and tucked the ice pack in against his skin. "Oh my god it's bad today," he moaned, sliding down with his feet up on the table. "Laura, I'm gonna need you to move, I need to lie flat," Stiles moaned. Laura raised an eyebrow but obliged, picking up her cereal and moving over to the armchair. Stiles immediately moved to take advantage of the new space, legs out flat as he rested his head on the arm of the chair. The ice pack was still sticking out of his pants, pushing up the hem of his shirt, and with his head bent back exposing the long lines of his neck, the jutting bones of his collar bone peaking out of the neck of his shirt.

"Derek, you're staring," Laura said unkindly. Derek blinked, head snapping up while Stiles frowned at him. 

He was saved from his embarrassment by Erica slamming out of her room with a grumble. He headed back through to the kitchen and picked up the three remaining cups of coffee and put them down on the table, before gingerly lifting Stiles legs and sitting down on the end of the couch. 

"Urrggghh," Erica whined, sitting down on the floor. She picked up the coffee and drank it in one go.

"Boyd not stay over?" Laura asked slyly. 

Erica shot her a look. "Shut it, Laura."

Laura held up her hands, "Touchy."

"Drop it, seriously," Derek interjected, noticing Erica bristle. He reached over and put a hand down on her shoulder, patting it consolingly, which caused Stiles to moan in pain. 

"Owwwwwwww,"

"That bad?" Erica asked. 

"Dude, this is so much worse than it's been in a long time," Stiles whined, before lifting a finger and pointing at Derek. "This is your fault."

"Don't need to know, guys," Laura said absently, eyes trained on the TV. 

"What? Ew, no, stop being gross, we were at the gym and he kept trying to push me into doing more squats," Stiles said flippantly.

Derek's stomach twisted, and he reached out and touched Stiles’ ankle. Stiles jumped.

"Sorry," Derek muttered, lifting his hand off quickly. 

"No, sorry, ticklish spot," Stiles said.

"I meant..." Derek sighed. "Never mind." 

Stiles eyed him curiously before pushing himself up on his elbows. "So I'm gonna need to go pack, Laura, is there any chance you can come? It's just I'm not leaving the jeep here for a week and I need a suitcase so I don't really want to take the subway..."

Laura rolled her eyes, "Like I'd make you take the subway when you can't even walk. C'mon, get some cereal in you and me and Derek'll help you pack."

 "What, am I not invited then?" Erica snapped.

"God, it's packing, Erica, would you calm the fuck down this morning?"

"Don't act like I'm being stupid, you're treating Stiles more like family than you treat me!" Erica snapped. 

"Oh my god, are you seriously jealous of Stiles?" Laura laughed.

"I'M NOT JEALOUS," Erica yelled, getting to her feet quickly. "Fuck this, I'm going to my room. Come and get me before you guys go to Boston. Y'know, if I'm still invited."

Erica stormed into her room, slamming the door behind her causing the walls of the apartment to shake. There was a moment of silence before loud, indie music started to fill the apartment, leaking through the doors.

"What's her problem?"

**~**

Getting back home had turned out to be more unnecessary trouble than Derek thought it would be worth, mostly because of Stiles. 

Firstly they'd all traipsed around to his place to pack up a suitcase; Stiles had lay down on his bed, whining about his hip, Derek had been forced to go through his drawers packing for him and Laura had chosen to 'pack' by looking for his porn stash. In Stiles defense, he had it pretty well hidden, but Laura had spent most of her teenage years looking for Derek's for blackmail material, and had gotten quite good at finding hidden stuff. 

After that they went back to Derek's place, picked up their bags and Erica (who promptly called shotgun) and loaded into the Camaro. The Camaro was a nice car, that was sure, but it was definitely not made to transport four people over 200 miles; They'd ended up putting suitcases at the foot of the backseats, so Derek had had to put up with Stiles’ legs draped across his lap for the entire journey.

He groaned, head flopping back against the seat. Stiles had dozed off finally, around hour 4 which they were all incredibly glad of because it meant he stopped whining about his hip for half an hour.

It wasn't that they weren't sympathetic, because they were... well, at least Derek was; he'd seemed in real pain. Their sympathy had waned hover, after it'd taken them five and a half hours to get back home to Hingham, just outside of Boston. It should have taken them four hours; they hadn't been planning to stop really. 

They were just pulling into town when Derek felt Stiles’ phone vibrating against his thigh. 

"Stiles," Derek said, nudging him. "Stiles!"

"Wha, what?" Stiles said, startled. He sat bolt upright before he dug a hand into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

"Scotty boy, my man!" Stiles said.

"Stiles, we're almost there," Derek hissed, as the car rounded the corner towards the edge of the Wompatok state park. Derek pushed Stiles’ legs off of his lap and Stiles glared, rubbing his hip. He was definitely milking it now.

"Aw man, I'm glad to hear you're not just moping around New York by yourself. Is Allison going too?" Stiles said, ignoring Derek completely. Derek pinched his brow as Laura pulled the Camaro down the lane towards the Hale house.

"Look man, I'll call you tonight, okay, I gotta go do a thing." 

There was a pause, then Stiles laughed, "Yeah, yeah, anyway dude, go get some tail." 

The car pulled to a stop just as Stiles hung up the phone. "What, are we here?"

Laura rolled her eyes. "No, we decided we'd had enough and we're just gonna break into this family home."

Stiles let out a low whistle, peaking out between the passenger and drivers seat, "Fuck, you guys are rich."

"We're not rich, Stiles," Erica corrected. "The house was passed down with the family."

"Po-tay-to, Po-tah-to," Stiles said, leaning back and unclipping his seat belt. "Look at this place, I mean, you're rich."

"Are not," Derek said, rolling his eyes. 

"You two are cute," Laura said. "Mum's gonna flip.”

Derek paled, "Shit.”

"What?" Erica asked, in a bored voice. 

"I didn't warn Mom, Laura, did you warn Mom?" Derek said, shoving Stiles away and pushing between the front seats to get a better view of the house. 

"Ow, dude, gentle over here, I'm injured. "

"If you don't shut up I'm gonna give you a _real_ injury," Derek snapped, before moaning as he caught sight of Mom in the window. "Nooooooooooo."

"I'm offended that you're so ashamed of me. "

"Why? It's a perfectly legitimate reaction, you're awful."

"Shush, honey, there's company," Stiles cooed, reaching out to stroke Derek's cheek. Derek batted his hand away. 

"Christ, they're never gonna let me live this down, Laura, why didn't you warn them?!"

"Oh no, Derrie, you're not pinning this on me."

"Derrie?" Stiles interrupted. "You call him _Derrie?_ As in derrière, the french word for ass?"

Erica rolled her eyes, "It started before we knew that, and Derek was just a toddler. He wouldn't answer to anything else for years."

"D'aww, toddler Derek sounds adorable," Stiles said, leaning over to pinch Derek's cheek. Derek swatted his hand away. 

"Get off me," he snarled. Stiles rolled his eyes at him. Laura sighed, and opened up the car door, before pushing forward the front seat. Derek stumbled out the car first, closely followed by the cursing, limping Stiles.

"I am never traveling in that thing again. I'd rather get a bus home," Stiles vowed, as Erica slammed her car door shut and Laura locked the car.

"It wasn't that bad," Erica reasoned.

"Easy for you to say, riding shotgun, with your tiny legs."

"Excuse you, my legs are fabulous," Erica said, flouncing her hair back. 

Derek jerked his head up as the front door to their house opened and their mother strolled out onto the porch. Derek softened, ignoring the bickering between Erica, Laura and Stiles to rush forward and hug his Mom. She jumped down off the porch, and grinned at him as he wrapped his arms around her tightly, 

"Mom," he said, pulling back. "It's good to see you."

"I should be saying the same thing," She said, pulling back to hold Derek at arm’s length, "Let's have a look at you then, have you been eating well? You've not picked up Laura's leather fixation have you?"

Derek fingered the edge of his leather jacket nervously, but couldn't stop himself from grinning. She was just like he remembered, warm, tanned and freckled with brown hair and brown eyes.

She turned, and opened her arms to Laura next, who smiled and gave her a quick hug and peck on the cheek. "It's good to see you, Mom."

"Yeah, you too. And you, Erica!" She said, turning to face Erica and Stiles. "I didn't know you were bringing anyone, is this..."

Erica laughed, "Oh, he's not with me."

Stiles looked down at the ground.

Derek grinned nervously as his mom worked the information over in her head, "Well, he's too young to be with Laura-"

"Thanks, Mom," Laura said flippantly.

"-So that leaves Derek." She said finally, eyes firmly placed on him. "I believe there must be something you weren't telling us?"

"About that..." Derek said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I've been meaning to have a talk with you.

She crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow, slightly grinning at her son’s embarrassment. "So is he with you?"

"Uh, yes?" Derek squeaked, wringing his hands together

 "It's about time you came out, then," his mom said finally. "Your father owes me $20 bucks."

"You were betting on my sexuality?"

 "Oh dear, no," she shook her head. "We were betting on how long it took you to tell us."

Erica barked out a laugh and flounced past them through the open door, while Laura grabbed their mother by the arm and followed. Derek started walking into the house when he heard Stiles slowly shuffle towards them, grumbling and cursing under his breath.

"For fuck’s sake, your hip cannot be that bad," Derek said.

"Excuse you, I've got damaged cartilage, I'll have you know," Stiles moaned, as he limped alongside Derek as quick as he could. "Sitting in that cramped car all day was about the worst thing I could've done to it."

"Well no one made you come-"

"Yes, _Laura_ did, Laura made me come!" Stiles said as they pushed past the threshold and into the Hall. Derek paused and toed off his shoes, Stiles copying him. 

"Yeah well go whine to her, I've just had to listen to 5 hours of it and I'm done."

"Five hours my ass! I was asleep for two of those."

"Oh yeah," Derek sighed fondly, "Those blissful two hours." 

"Jerk," Stiles muttered, before he nudged him in the ribs as they rounded the corner to see most of Derek's immediate family exchanging knowing grins. 

Derek winced. 

There was still a few of his family due to arrive on the Monday, but Erica's mom, his weird uncle Peter with his wife and their daughter, not to mention his Mom, Dad and little sister, Cora were all standing waiting to meet Stiles.

"Family this is Stiles," he said, gesturing to Stiles, who did a two finger salute and smiled.

"Derek's _boyfriend,’_ Laura added, unhelpfully.

Derek's head slumped, while his mom grinned at him. There was a moment of shock before everyone reacted. 

"Derek's gay?" was Cora's response. 

Laura loped a arm across her shoulder, and ruffled her hair, "Partly gay, sis, just partly,"

Stiles laughed; Derek winced.

His father sighted, and a knot of worry started in Derek's gut.

"You couldn't have left it till Monday when you turn 25, could you?" He grumbled, before digging $20 out of his jeans and shoving it into Talia's outstretched hand. 

"You guys are the worst," Derek muttered, as Stiles bounded forward, hand extended. 

"Stiles, Stiles Stilinski here," he said cheerfully.

"That's not his real name," Derek said. "He doesn't tell anyone his real name."

"For good reason," Stiles said brightly, letting go of Derek's father’s hand and stepping back towards Derek. "My parents had a sick sense of humor."

He put an arm across Derek's shoulders although Derek wasn't too sure it was for any reason other than his painful hip. "Uh, sorry about the lack of warning, it was a last minute thing-"

"They've been dating for four months!" Laura interrupted, shaking her head. "I only found out last week."

"You still found out before me," Derek murmured quietly, the rest of the family couldn't hear but Stiles ghosted a laugh.

"What was that?" Cora demanded, arms folded across her chest and lip jutting out stubbornly. 

"What was what?" Derek blinked,

"What you whispered just there?"

"Cora, don't be rude," his mom scolded. "Derek, don't whisper."

"Well, I hate to be rude," Stiles started.

Erica snorted.

"-I'm gonna need to get a seat. "

"You and that bloody hip," Erica muttered.

"You want a doctors note? Cause I can get one," he snarked back. 

Derek winced at Stiles impatience; "How about I get Stiles something for his bad hip and then we can meet in the living room?"

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," his mom said. 

Derek moved his arm to grasp Stiles by the waist, "C'mon, let's get you sitting down." Derek sighed and guided Stiles through to the kitchen.

Laura and Erica went to unpack the car, and Derek sat Stiles down at the breakfast bar, his dad followed after him.

"Hey, sorry, we'll be through to the living room in a minute," Derek said absently, as he rummaged through the medicine pack for the heat pack he knew they had for his dad's back. 

"So, what's up with your hip?" he heard his dad asked Stiles, Derek sighed and grabbed the heat pack before putting it in the microwave to heat for a few minutes.

"Fucked the cartilage when I was in high school," Stiles said flippantly. "It's mostly good, but I pushed too hard at the gym yesterday and then I spent all day in the back of a car."

His dad spluttered. 

"Oh my god," Derek whined, turning around and pointing a finger at his father, "You, stop being gross, and you-" he rounded on Stiles. "Your hip is not that bad, stop fishing for sympathy."

Stiles pouted, as Derek's father laughed, and clapped Stiles on the back, "I like you," he said, before getting to his feet. "See you boys in a minute. Don't make out on top of the countertop."

Stiles looked shell-shocked as his Dad laughed once more and headed back through to the living room where Derek could hear his family chattering away, where his name was thrown around an unusual amount. 

Derek tossed the heat pack to Stiles who caught it by the tips of his fingers. "I like your dad," Stiles grinned.

"You would."

"I see where Laura gets it from."

"Mom's just as bad really," Derek said sadly.

"What happened with you then?" Stiles said, smirking. Derek reached over and swatted him around the back of his head.  

 "C'mon,," Derek sighed. "You've still gotta properly meet my parents."

Stiles sighed and got to his feet, heat pack jammed in the side of his pants. He limped along, following Derek who led him through the dining room towards the lounge by the hand.

"Urgh, your hand's sweaty," Stiles mumbled, "What are you so nervous about?"

"Introducing you to my parents," Derek said quietly.

"Why?"

"'Cause you're an asshole,” Derek said simply before he pushed open the door to the lounge. Cora and his parents were on one of the couches, with Uncle Peter, his wife and daughter on the other; Erica had set herself up on the floor, scooted up to the coffee table with a steaming mug of tea in front of her, and her mom seemed to have disappeared. 

Derek made a beeline for the free armchair, dropping Stiles like a hot coal. He dived onto it, before turning around and grinning smugly.

Stiles just sighed, walked up to him and pulled the cushion out from behind him, settling down on the floor with a slight wince. 

"So," Derek's mom said. "We've not properly been introduced; I'm Talia, this is my husband, James and our other daughter, Cora."

Cora smiled over at Stiles, with a slightly more flirty edge than Derek was comfortable with.

"On the other couch," Derek's mom continued, "Is my brother Peter, his wife, Amelia and his daughter Caitlyn."

Stiles waved a hand at his Uncle and Aunt. Caitlyn was 12 years old, just a kid really, she was cute, with her father's brown hair and mother's blue eyes, she looked painfully disinterested in all that was going on around her however. 

"And of course you know Erica, she's my sister's daughter, Nevaeh, who's just headed to the store to get some food for us."

"Right," Stiles said, "I think I got it."

"Then tomorrow we've also got some of James's family, my other sister and my mother," Derek's mom said.

"That's... that's a lot of family," Stiles said.

Derek grimaced; this was too much really, there was no way that they would pull this off. There was no way that he should've asked Stiles to do this either, they should've just called it a day and told Laura the truth. It was too late now. 

"We took your suitcases up to your room," Erica said flippantly, examining one of her nails for imperfections. 

"Their room?" James started. 

Oh thank god. Derek had never loved his father more than in that moment. 

"-They're sharing?"

Derek's mom put a hand over on his knee, and tilted her head at him, "James, it's Derek, not Cora. He's 25, I think we can let them share a room."

No. Nonononononononon. Please, no. 

 Think of the awkward boners.

Stiles laughed awkwardly, "You really don't have to, I mean if you're not comfortable with it Derek can sleep on the couch-"

"I am not sleeping on the couch," Derek interrupted. "You can sleep on the couch."

Stiles just smirked at him and patted his hip, "But dearest, you know how the sofa hurts my hip so."

"I am going to cut your fucking hip off if you don't stop with that," Derek growled.

Cora giggled, and his Mom frowned at him, "Derek, language."

Stiles sighed and flopped back onto the rug, pillow under his ass pushing his hips into the air, while his shirt rode up past his belly button. Derek swallowed, eyes captured by the trail of air dancing down his navel. 

He snapped his head up, face going red, just in time to see Laura looking curiously at him. 

"So, Auntie Nevaeh is getting pizza?" Derek said quickly. "Enough for everyone?"

His dad chuckled, "No we didn't get anything for you."

"You're hilarious." Derek said dryly.

**~**

Stiles groaned, pushing past Derek into his room and flopping backwards onto his bed. 

"Oh my god, I ate too much pizza," Stiles moaned, head tipping back as his eyes fluttered shut. Derek gently pushed the door shut behind him, shuffling into his childhood bedroom. Their house was big enough that their parent's hadn't touched any of their rooms since they'd moved out, so everything was exactly as he'd left it six years previously when he'd moved out, right down to the Linkin Park poster tacked up on his wall.

"Yeah, I told you that after the first entire pizza you had to yourself. You didn't have to eat a second," Derek said.

Stiles waved a hand at him, still sprawled out on his back. "Dude, I don't think I can move to get my pants off, can you help me out?"

"No," Derek said immediately, before pulling off his shirt and tossing it into the laundry hamper. "That's not happening."

"But, _Deeeeeeerek,"_ Stiles whined, as Derek yanked off his jeans and pulled on a pair of pajama pants, then yanked a tank top over his head. 

"No means no, Stiles," Derek said, shoulders slumping, as Stiles started to wiggle, attempting to push off his jeans without moving his stomach. 

"Derek, I'm gonna be sick."

"Urgh," Derek moaned, moving to grab Stiles’ pants by the ankles. Stiles had already undone the button but the jeans were ridiculously tight, so he stepped forward in between Stiles legs and started to yank them down from his thighs. Stiles didn't pay him to much attention, just lay there with his head turned to the side, not looking at Derek as he allowed himself to be manhandled out of his pants. 

Derek pulled them off with a flourish, and tossed them to join his in the laundry basket. He picked up Stiles bag off the floor and as efficiently as eh could manage, pulled out a pair of sweats and threw them onto his stomach.

"Dereeeeeek," Stiles started, still lying with his eyes closed in nothing but his shirt and a pair of black boxers.

"You've gotta be kidding me," Derek muttered, with an angry sigh. He reached forward and grabbed Stiles sweats, guiding them onto his legs and pulling them up his compliant thighs. He had just got them around his waist when suddenly his door was flung open.

Derek jumped back like he'd been electrocuted, and Stiles sat bolt upright, both of them thankfully fully dressed, as Derek's dad stood in the doorway, blushing furiously, "Oh, shit boys, sorry, I'll knock next time," he said, backing out as hastily as he could and slamming the door shut behind him. 

Derek looked over to the bed where Stiles was leaning on his forearms, trying to stop a shit-eating grin from crossing his face.

"You, shut up," Derek said preemptively.

That seemed to break Stiles who threw his head back and laughed. "Go, dude, your family is great. Now c'mon and snuggle, it's cold out tonight."

"I hate you so much," Derek muttered as he slid underneath the bedsheets while Stiles wormed his way underneath, elbowing Derek in the side as he did so.


	3. Family Meal

The next day marked the arrival of the rest of his family. Derek hadn't seen the house as full in years, but then he'd also missed most of the big meet ups since he turned 16, not to mention everyone in the family was _bigger_ now, with their own significant others and some of his oldest cousins even had children tagging along. 

Derek woke up ridiculously early, as he always did. He was swelteringly hot, so he threw back the duvet to try and cool down. 

He felt something move next to him and looked over to see Stiles flopped over on his back, limbs dripping out of the bed and  a sheen of sweat on his forehead. Derek frowned, before tugging the duvet off him while discreetly ignoring the morning wood that was tenting in his sleep pants. Derek had ended up sleeping on the side closest to the wall, so he gently tried to worm his way out of the bed by jumping over the trunk at the bottom of it, landing crouched by the door. 

He often ran in the mornings, and it was too... _awkward_ to lie pretending to sleep next to Stiles. Derek pulled open his suitcase and pulled out his GPS watch, as well as a pair of board shorts, running shoes and socks. Derek changed out of his sweats, before padding softly out of the room and closing the door carefully behind him.

He headed down the stairs and rounded into the kitchen where Laura and Cora were up, fumbling around the kitchen, both of them in running gear.

"Smoothie?" Laura asked, lifting up a glass and putting it down infront of him without waiting for an answer. Derek sat on one of the stools and leaned down, yanking off the previous days sock, tossing them over the counter at the washing machine. Cora wrinkled her nose as she sat down next to Derek, sipping on her smoothie.

"Do you have to get your feet out in the kitchen?" 

"I didn't want to wake Stiles," Derek said, ignoring the shit eating grin Laura gave Cora when he said that. "He's not a morning person."

Laura glanced at the clock, "It's half seven, Der, no one is a morning person right now, bar our crazy family."

Derek shrugged, it was true that their parents always had been big on fitness. He pulled on on clean socks and his shoes, before looking up at his sisters "Are we going out together, or...?"

"Why not? Let's see if we can run laps around you," Cora grinned, hopping back down off of the counter with her empty glass and dropping it into the sink.

Derek grinned, "You guys are on."

Laura grabbed a water bottle from the side, "C'mon then, guys, let's get going."

The three of them headed out the door, pausing for a minute so that Derek could hook up his watch to a satalite, before the three of them took off down through the woods towards town.

"I can't believe you're going into town dressed like that," Derek muttered.

Cora turned her head to roll her eyes at him, "It's a sports bra, Der, it's not like I'm wandering about in a bikini or anything."

"You may as well be," he said, wrinkling his brow, but she just ignored him and took off running, laughing away to herself. Derek shook his head and took off after her, Laura following up the rear.

Derek hadn't realised how much he'd _missed_ this. Hell, Cora was six years younger than him and he'd moved out of home so quickly that he felt like he barely knew the woman she'd grown into in his absence. Well, she was ninteen, not quite an adult yet, but the point stood. 

They were fit enough to talk while running, Laura jumping ahead to set the pace while Derek grilled Cora about her life.

"So, any boys?" Derek huffed, keeping his eyes firmly ahead.

Cora rolled her eyes at him, "None so far, they just all seem  so immature," she paused. "Although I guess that doesn't bother _you_ all to much."

Derek blushed beetroot, "Stiles is plenty mature. He's 21, it's not that much younger than me."

"Yeah yeah yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night," Cora smirked, before she turned back and took off ahead of him, tearing past Laura laughing as she went.  

~

They finished their run at approximately 8:30, stumbling through the back door into the kitchen where their dad was already sitting at the breakfast bar in his sweatpants, sipping coffee and reading the paper. 

"Gross, dad, could you wear a shirt?" Cora said, rolling her eyes before opening the fridge and pulling out the milk. 

"Could you not drink from the carton?" he retorted, not looking up from the paper.

Cora turned and made a show of taking a big gulp of milk.

"Well, as mature and grown up as this is, I'm gonna go get a shower," Derek said, pushing past Laura and heading toward the kitchen door.

"Breakfast is at nine, make sure Stiles is up," his dad said. 

"If I can," Derek sighed, before he pushed open the door and headed back up the stairs. He was damp with sweat and getting kinda cold, so he hurried quickly along the corridor to his bedroom, throwing open the door without a thought. He froze at the sight he was greeted with. 

It was Stiles.

_Stiles masturbating._

"Stiles?" he squeaked.

Stiles head snapped up just in time to make eye contact with Derek as he came, splattering across his chest with a strangled gasp. 

Derek turned beetroot red and turned, slamming the door shut, keeping his back firmly to Stiles.

"Dude," Stiles gasped, breathlessly. "What are you doing?! Get out!"

Derek cleared his throat, "Stiles, if I leave, it's gonna look pretty weird to my family if they walk past and I'm sitting outside the door."

"Oh my _god_ ," Stiles groaned, "Are you serious? No don't answer that, just keep your back turned while I try and clear up."

Derek winced, before he heard the rustle of the tissue box. "What were you doing wanking in my  bed , Stiles?" Derek snapped, if only to stop himself from turning around and jumping Stiles.

"Well unlike you who decided to run five miles to get rid of his morning wood, I took care of it the old fashioned way," Stiles said, Derek heard his bedsprings creak. "Nice masturbation drawer you've got going on there, by the way."

"God," Derek winced, "Can I turn around yet? I need to get a shower."

"Sure dude."

Derek turned around just in time to see Stiles sitting on the edge of his bed in his boxers, tossing a bottle of lube into the top drawer on his nightstand, which only made him blush harder. Stiles grinned at him, "Seriously though, lube and tissues? You know how to treat a guy."

"Don't go through my stuff," Derek snapped, before grabbing his towel and a change of clothes and slamming into the bathroom, heart thundering away. "Oh and breakfast is ready, get changed."

He sighed, and leaned back against the door running a hand over his face. Stiles was gonna kill him, either from blue balls or embarrassment, and Derek had no clue which.

He sighed, then he shed his clothes and jumped into a (cold) shower.

 

** ~ **

Derek showered as quickly and efficiently as he could, slinging a towel around his neck before rushing down stairs to the kitchen.

His mom was making pancakes, and smiled at him when he came through the door, "Everyone's in the dining room, Derrie. Stiles too."

Derek nodded, and gave his mom a smile before he headed through to the dining room. Their dining room table was  huge, but then, so was their dining room which was the main reason that they held family gatherings at their house; since they were the only ones who could just about  fit everyone.

Stiles, Laura, Cora, Erica and his dad were gathered at the top end of the table, his dad still shirtless while Stiles was sat slumped over his plate looking vacantly across the room. 

Derek settled down between his dad and Stiles, before shoving an elbow into Stiles ribs, "Dude, you okay?"

"It's breakfast time, I'm _hungry_ ," Stiles moaned.

"What's with you? You ate so much last night as well," Derek aske, tilting his head. 

Stiles just shrugged, and Derek's dad barked out a laugh.

"Just be glad he can't get pregnant, son."

Oh god.

"Dad!" Derek hissed, as Laura whooped with laughter.

He was saved from at least some of the embarrassment by his mother arriving with a pile of plates in one hand and a stack of pancakes in the other. She put down the piles on the table, "Dig in everyone."

She leaned over and pressed a kiss onto Derek's dad's forehead, before standing straight and dropping her cloth on the table. "I'm gonna go pick up Nana from the airport, 

Stiles was first in, grabbing a fork and knife and dragging a pile of pancakes onto his plate, piling it with syrup. Derek rolled his eyes at him before digging in himself.

"So how many people are coming to this gathering?" Derek asked once everyone had food.

"Uh, lemmie see... we've got Jenny's family, so there's five, including us five, that's ten." James paused, shoving a piece of pancake in his mouth before glancing at Stiles, "Sorry,  eleven. Erica and her mom are thirteen, then Peter and family is sixteen... Nana Hale is seventeen."

"Seventeen," Derek said, "That's a lot."

"Don't interrupt, I'm not done," his dad scolded. "Wait, one of Jenny's sons isn't coming, but the oldest, Jeffery is bringing his wife and their son, so that's eighteen, then we've got your cousin Scott from my side, and the twins, Uncle Jonathan can't come, what with work commitments."

Erica looked up, "Have I met the twins?"

"Yeah, they used to come round when we were younger, they'd be your age, one's really short and one's really tall," Laura said, waving her fork around for emphasis."

"So we've got twenty one people then," Derek sighed.

His dad nodded, before his phone started chiming away, he held up a hand to them, and answered it, ducking through into the kitchen. 

"Who's Scott then?" Erica asked, head lolling to the side as she pursed her lips. Derek sat back in his chair, gaze flickering over to Stiles who was still wolfing down pancakes like if he stopped to long they'd be taken away from him. 

"Another cousin on my dad's side, so he'd be your second cousin?" Laura supplied, squinting as she worked it out in her head, "Yeah, I think that's the right one."

"No, if theres no blood there's no term for it," Cora said. 

"Anyway," Derek started, "Scott, his dad got arrested and none of us really have contact with him anymore, least of all Scott, Dad still keeps in touch though, invites him to family gatherings and stuff, lends him money if he's struggling."

"Huh," Erica said. 

"'Ooh, 're you guys talkin' 'bout?" Stiles mumbled through a mouthful of food, head jerking up as dribbles of syrup ran down his chin.

"Attractive," Derek muttered under his breath. Stiles glared.

"Not your Scott, Stiles, our cousin Scott."

Stiles nodded, making an 'ooooh' face, before he swallowed the mouthful of food and grabbed a napkin wiping off his chin just as Derek's dad came back into the room.

"Up that number to twenty two, Der, Scotty's bringing a girlfriend," he said, sitting back down next to Derek, thankfully wearing a shirt now. "He should be here pretty soon, they set off pretty early this morning apparently."

"God, I know the house is big, but this is just ridiculous," Derek muttered. "Where's everyone gonna sleep?"

"Well, if you want you and Stiles can go sleep in the treehouse out back," Laura offered. Derek glared.

"What treehouse?" Stiles interrupted.

"Dad made Derek a tree house and he slept in it every night for four weeks until Dad had to take him to the ER 'cause we thought he had pneumonia," Cora said gleefully. 

"It was adorable," Laura added.

Derek winced, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, and he could practically feel Stiles cocky grin radiating over him. "Don't say a thing."

"Young Derek sounds _adorable_.'

Suddenly the doorbell rang, and his dad jumped up to his feet, 'That'll be Scott."

Derek pulled another pancake off of the plate before Scott and his girlfriend arrived, undoubtedly looking for breakfast. He heard them talking in the hall and vaguly wondered if he should go say hi, so he didn't seem rude, but then, even though he and Scott hadn't seen each other in a few years they were still family, so he was obliged to at least like him a little bit.

The door to the kitchen pushed open and suddenly Stiles stood bolt upright, chair clattering to the ground as he lunged across the room, _"SCOTT!"_

Derek's head jerked up to see Stiles full on tackle hug his cousin Scott, who looked both exctatic and thrilled to see him, " _Dude!_ I didn't realise... y'know, _your_ Derek was _my_ Derek!"

Erica was now looking faintly ill, "Scott.... Scott _McCall?"_

Stiles let go of him and Scott looked over, paling, "Erica Reyes?! I'm related to _you!_ Your name is Reyes!”

"Not through blood," Laura supplied happily, "So you guys can get over whatever weird incest is flashing through your heads."

"One drunk kiss," Erica mumbled, "God, he was still in love with Allison."

Allison, apparently Scott's longterm girlfriend was standing just behind him looking incredibly confused, "What have I missed and what's going on?"

Stiles grinned, "I'll draw you a family tree, it'll be easier."

 

** ~ **

So it turned out the source of the main confusion had been that Derek's father had taken his mom's name when they got married, rather than the other way around, so the five of them had sat around the bottom of the kitchen table, figuring out how everyone had related to each other before Erica and Scott breathed a sigh of relief that the one time they had drunkenly made out when Scott and Allison had broken up, had not actually constituted as incest. 

Derek assumed Stiles had told Scott everything about his and Derek's fake relationship because Scott barely batted an eye at it, though Stiles and Scott were closer than his testicles so he doubted that there was really anything one didn't tell the other.

Most of Derek's day past that was settling everyone into their rooms. While he would admit that his parents had a large house - it'd been in the Hale Family for generations, his Nana had moved out and moved to Florida when Derek had ben born, leaving the house to Talia. It had 9 bedrooms in total, with four bathrooms and a downstairs toilet, which meant someone would need to sleep on the fold out couch in the downstairs den. His dad nominated himself and Stiles for the 'honour' but Derek played the bum!hip card and managed to wrangle it so that Scott and Allison were landed with the lumpy sofa. 

"Nothing says family quite like screwing each other over with the sleeping arrangements, eh, Scott?" Stiles asked, raising an eyebrow as he unceremoniously dropped the pile of sheets onto the couch next to Scott and Allison. 

"I don't mind," Scott said, "At least no one else is sleeping on this floor."

Stiles rolled his eyes, "Trust you to see the best in a bad situation. Talia sent us through to let you know dinner's ready and she wants you all at the dinner table."

Scott beamed at him, "Dude, I'm so glad you're here."

Derek rolled his eyes and left Scott and Stiles to their bro feelings, heading through to the dining room and sitting down next to Erica who was wringing her hands, an angry scowl on her face. 

Twenty two people pushed the limits of the dining room table, but they _just_ made it and no more. Derek's mom sat at the head of the table, closest to the kitchen, with an empty seat next to her for his father who must've been taking care of the cooking for the evening. Erica sat on her left, then there was an empty seat between her and Laura who was talking animatedly to Cora about the pros and cons of moving away for college.

Most of his mom's family sat at the other end of the table, all coo-ing over his cousin Jeffrey's new baby boy, save for his grandmother and the twins were sitting across from him.

The twins didn't look much like twins, one of them short with dark hair, one of them tall and blond, Derek forgot how much the twins grated on his nerves, until he saw them again, giggling away over a bottle of wine. They were a menace. 

His Nana however, was his favourite. She was 80 years old, and took no shit from no one, She looked deceptively sweet, but Derek had seen her turn on people enough to develop a healthy fear of the pensioner. 

"Derek, my my, I never realised how much you'd _grown_ when I saw you earlier," his Nana coo'ed, and he knew if she was closer shed be reaching up to ruffle his hair. Derek preened, he was her favourite, too. 

"Hi, Nana, it's nice to see you too," he responded, smiling easily at her as Stiles slid down next to him, leaning a hand on his shoulder. Derek suddenly realised that when his mom had gotten back from the airport Nana had gone almost immediately to bed, then Derek had spent most of the afternoon helping his dad to sort dinner.

Nana didn't know he was bi.

Nana didn't know about _Stiles._

She narrowed her eyes at Stiles, "Now you don't look like a Hale, too fair. Who are you?"

Stiles blinked then laughed nervously, Derek was glad for the perpetual chatter around them, but he knew Erica and his mom were paying very close attention to their conversation; Erica because she was a bitch who feasted on other people's misery and his Mom because Nana's approval was important. 

Very important.

Like make or break important. 

When Laura was 18, and dating some guitarist in a dead-end band who was covered in tattoos (which Derek would admit was a relatively good look for the guy) Nana had managed to make him cry.

"Uh, I'm Stiles, Stiles Stilinski, maam."

"Maam," Nana said, turning to Derek's mom, "I like that."

Derek ran a hand through his hair, "Uh, Nana, Stiles is my boyfriend."

Nana blinked her  sharp eyes back to Stiles and Derek, silently determining if this was an acceptable thing, she pursed her lips. "So you're gay then?" she asked.

"Uh, bi?"

"Oh well that's not fair to everyone else, deary, a handsome boy like you, you'll be breaking all of the hearts!" She exclaimed, smiling fondly at him.

Derek let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

They were interrupted by his dad kicking open the kitchen door, clutching two salad bowls in his arms. "Dinner is _served_ ," he said, with a lame french accent as he put down one massive salad bowl at each end of the table. "Or at least the starters are."

Everyone started to tuck in immediately, and Derek thought he was safe from the awkward Nana questions, untill the table had quietened down, and she asked him; "So, Derek, since you're... bi, does that mean... What's the word for it?"

Derek froze, forkful of food halfway to his mouth, as everyone at the table slowly turned their heads around to see where Nana was going with this.

"Uh..."

"Top! Y'know, since you like girls too." 

She couldn't mean what he thought she meant. No _way_ did she mean what Derek thought she meant. Derek froze, everyone in the table seemed to lean in.

"Uh..."

"Like sexually," his Nana added.

Oh god.

This couldn't be happening.

Laura spluttered into her drink, and he could hear his dad choking back laughter. This was unreal, there was no way his  gran was asking about his sexual preferences. _Why_ was his gran asking about his sexual preferences?!" 

She seemed unconcerned by the fact everyone had suddenly stopped eating, turning to watch their conversation with a morbid fascination, "I only ask, because Jenny who bowls with me on a tuesday swears that bisexuals don't... what's the word she used? _Bottom!_ That was it." She wrinkled her nose, "Ever since she got a gay grandson she's prided herself on how forward thinking and accepting she is. She thinks she knows _everything."_

Oh god, Derek didn't know what to say, he twisted to look at Erica for help but she was to busy keeping her hand clamped over her mouth to stop from bursting out laughing. 

"Uh, Maam," Stiles perked up, "I'm pan."

Nana Hale frowned, "What's pan?"

"It's," Stiles frowned, before probably deciding that he didn't want to get into the explanation of gender fluidity over the dinner table. "It's like bi, too."

"Oh," Nana Hale said,  frowning, "So how does that work?"

"We switch pitch," Stiles answered easily.

There was a moment where Nana Hale pondered the meaning of this, before her eyes brightened, "Oh! I see what you mean there. Wait till I tell Jenny when I go home."

Derek wished that lightning struck him down where he sat. 

 

** ~ **

Everything was going pretty well until they got to the deserts and the twins spotted a weak point on Erica's armor. 

Derek would say it again, the twins were dicks whose life job seemed to be winding people up.

They noticed it when Nana Hale asked Erica if she was seeing anyone, and Erica tactfully avoided the question. Derek watched as the tall one elbowed the small one and grinned. He clenched his fists under the table. If they brought up her epilepsy like last time he was going to punch them, blood be damned.

"Sooo," the tall one said, Derek had given up on their names because they were stupidly similar rhyming names and he couldn't keep track. "Erica, no boyfriend, _again?'_

" Shut your mouth, Blake, or I'll shut it for you."

"He was just asking!" the short one said, holding up his hands and snickering at his brother. "Christ, can't a guy show some interest in his cousin's life?"

"We're not even cousins," Erica snapped back. Derek saw her clench her fists under the table and bit his lip. 

"Jake, Blake, drop it," Derek warned.

"What, did you get dumped _again_ , Erica?" The tall one asked snidely.

Erica stood abruptly to her feet and turned on her heel without another word, slamming the door behind her. Derek sighed, and looked to his dad, "Seriously, since Uncle Thomas isn't here can you take care of those two?!" Before he jumped to his feet and ran after Erica. He headed through to the kitchen where the back door was still swung wide open and he stepped out into the garden just in time to see Erica's foot disappear into his tree house. 

He looked out at the rain which was tipping down, and with a sigh took off across the garden toward the tree.

He hadn't been in his tree house since he was 17, when he discovered it was a wonderful place to make-out/hide contraband stuff, but it was still unchanged. His dad had gone into a lot of effort for it, the place was complete with two rooms, carpets, sturdy walls, windows and the trapdoor opened underneath to keep the heat in. Erica was sitting in the corner on a bean bag, clutching her knees to her chest, and Derek felt his gut clench.

He went over and put an arm around her shoulder, "Now, I know this isn't just about the twins winding you up," Derek said evenly, "You've been off ever since we left to come here."

Erica sat in silence, staring firmly at the opposite wall.

"C'mon, blondie, talk to me," Derek said, squeezing her shoulder.

"You know how long I've been dating Boyd?" She said finally.

Derek frowned, "Uh..."

"Three months. We decided to keep it kinda quiet 'cause we've got the same friends, y'know? And like if it didn't work out then we could go back to being friends and no one would be any the wiser."

Derek frowned as things over the last few months clicked into place, nights where she hadn't come home, disappearing after their gym sessions, incessantly texting. Really he would've figured it out sooner if he hadn't been in the _I'M-IN-MY-FINAL-YEAR-OF-MY-MASTERS-AND-I-HAVE-SO-MUCH-TO-DO!_ Mode.

"Er," he said, rubbing her shoulder. 

"But like, we'd been talking about coming out with it, then I asked him out for coffee the other day infront of you and he said he was falling in love with me!"

Derek kept his arm firmly around her side.

"So I asked him to come here and we had the biggest fight over whether we were ready for it or not, and he just _refused_ to come over, he said it was too big, that we weren't ready, and like... _urgh!"_ Erica clenched her fists and punched her thighs.

Derek pulled her tighter into him, and she lay her head down on his chest. "I know it's not help, but you _will_ find someone. If you and Boyd are meant to be then he'll make an effort for you, Er, and if he doesn't then he's an idiot, 'cause you're most definitely worth it."

"Thanks, Derrie," Erica mumbled, pushing a kiss into Derek's cheek before laying her head down on his shoulder.

They sat like that for a minute, listening to the sounds of the rain rattling down on the treehouse roof.

"Derek," Erica said finally.

"Yeah?"

"What the fuck's going on with Stiles?"

Derek sighed, and hung his head, "I'd be fucked if I know, Erica. Fucked if I know."

She reached a hand up and ruffled his hair, "Aw, poor baby."

"You're on my list."

 

** ~ **

Derek set himself an alarm the next morning but ended up yelling at Stiles to snooze it before finally waking up at 8:30, wrapped around Stiles. Their legs tangled up together, and Derek's arms laying across Stiles waist.

He blinked sleepily, as Stiles started to open his eyes, frowning at him, before he slowly started to smile. 

"Dude, I didn't know you were a cuddler," he grinned.

Derek rolled his eyes and disentangled, from Stiles as quickly as he could, before shuffling down the bed and getting to his feet. 

"Is that just what this relationship is to you? A late night cuddle then you leave first thing in the morning?" Stiles said, clutching his chest. 

Derek ignored him, "I'm going on a run, you can come if you want."

Stiles frowned, before stretching out his leg. He got up to his feet gingerly and started rolling and shaking his leg, "Yeah, a run might be good actually." 

Derek raised his eyebrows, "Really?"

"Dude, I know I'm not living in the gym like you and Erica but I exercise."

"Stiles, I've seen you on the treadmill."

"So I'm not the most coordinated of runners," Stiles said with a grin, before yawning and arching his back, and Derek found himself staring at the thin strip of skin which was revealed when his shirt started to ride up, god Derek could see a pattern of freckles dotting over one of his hips, the dusting of hair at his navel, he just wanted to lean forward and-

"Dude, you zoned out, you okay there?"

Derek jerked his head up to look Stiles in the face, Stiles face splitting into a grin. "Were you checking me out?"

"No I just got lost in thought," Derek grumbled, turning away and yanking open one of his chest of drawers, willing himself not to blush.

"Dude, y'know, if you ever wanna get all up in this-"

"Stiles, stoping playing around and get your shoes on if we're gonna go on a run."

Stiles however had gotten distracted perusing his bookshelf, "I didn't know you _read,_ I thought you'd lost that ability when you started popping protein powder to bulk up."

"Stiles, I'm working on a masters degree in mechanics, I'm not some muscle head."

Stiles paused, pulling a book from his shelf and dusting it off, "Really? Mechanics?"

"We've know each other for a year, how do you _not_ know what I do?" Derek asked, exasperatedly. 

Stiles laughed and put the book back on the shelf, "I dunno dude, sometimes I get distracted watching your eyebrows when you're talking, they're weird."

"I don't know why we're friends."

"You love me really dude," Stiles grinned before picking up his bag and digging out a pair of trainers. 

 

** ~ **

They never really has plans or activities on their family gatherings, it was mostly just a Hale family tradition, (with a couple McCalls thrown in for good measure), where they all lived in the one house for a week then promptly left before anyone killed someone. Derek would've placed bets on Peter being the first to crack.

Derek was sat in the kitchen when his phone went off, he blinked at the screen before dashing outside, it was Isaac. 

When he moved and started up his postgrad in New York, Erica had started forcing him to hang out with her, dragging him to undergrad parties and sneaking into clubs, all of which he found ridiculous considering he was 22 and didn't need to sneak into clubs anymore. He and Isaac had formed a weird sort of friendship; Isaac didn't have any family left so while Derek spent the holidays in the city because of his insane workload, Isaac didn't have any other alternative. So they'd drifted together as a makeshift sort of family, Derek acting like an adoptive older brother and Isaac making sure that Derek didn't spend all his time studying. 

"Isaac," Derek said.

"So what, everyone of my friends gets an invitation to your family reunion apart from me? What did I do to you!?" Isaac whined.

"Boyd's still-"

"Boyd got an invite, he _chose_ not to go. It's not the same," Isaac pointed out. Derek could feel a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "It's not _funny_ Der, I'm left all alone in the city. I didn't even think you knew Scott!"

"Isaac, Scott's my cousin."

"What?"

"Scott's my cousin, Allison's his date, Boyd was gonna be Erica's, I don't know what's going on there, and Stiles..." Derek trailed off.

"Stiles?" Isaac asked, smugly.

"Shut it. Stiles is doing me a favor, I'll explain when I go home, okay?"

Isaac let out a groan, "Derek I'm _bored_ , we all know Boyd and I aren't best buds, I mean, we're friends, but like..."

Derek sighed, "If you _really_ want to-"

"No I don't want your pity invite," Isaac snubbed. "I'll be fine all by myself for the next few days."

"I'll be back on Saturday," Derek said.

" _Saturday?!_ That's _ages_ away."

"Go read a book," Derek retorted. "I better go, I think Nana was talking to Stiles and that just seems like a disaster waiting to happen."

" _Derek_ ," Isaac whined. Derek rolled his eyes and hung up the phone, heading back into the kitchen. Nana Hale was in the middle of baking something, Stiles hovering around behind her. He headed over to the circle table in the corner of the kitchen where they had breakfast more often than not when the house was empty. His dad was sitting, watching the events in the kitchen unfold. 

"I think she likes him," his dad said, before frowning. "I mean, _I_ like him. I can't get a read on your mom, she's... off right now."

Derek felt his stomach twist. If anyone would figure out his lie it would be his mom, 

"And like, I know it goes without saying, but I'm cool with him being a... _him,”_ his dad said, reaching over laying a hand on his shoulder. "I mean, _heck_ I think I'm better at dealing with boyfriends, I've got more practice. When you brought that girl Kate around-"

"Daaaad," Derek whined, imploring him to stop.

"I'm just saying, I didn't know what to do with her."

"I think that was more of a _Kate_ thing, as opposed to you not knowing how to deal with possible daughters-in-law," Derek offered. He'd never said all that much to his parents about his Kate fiasco but he had no doubt that Laura had. Derek sighed, and looked over towards the kitchen where Stiles was attempting to follow his grandmothers crazy vague instructions.

"What are they doing?" Derek frowned.

"Nana's teaching him how to make her pie."

Derek blinked, "Not _her_ pie though, surely?"

His dad shrugged, "She thinks he's it, you know your Nana, she's got a weird sense about these things. She knew I was it for your mom, I didn't get to learn the pie recipe though, your Mom got that privilege. She must've thought you're too awful a cook to pull it off."

Derek felt sick to his stomach, Stiles wasn't  it , he never should've lied to his family like that. 

He shouldn't have lied to himself like that, this whole playing house business was fucking with his head, he'd been keeping such a tight control of his crush on Stiles, not indulging himself in any fantasies, 'cause it was obvious Stiles didn't like him like that, Stiles was 21, why would he? All 21 year olds wanted to do was party and celebrate their new ability to drink legally. 

He jerked his head over as he heard Stiles laugh, just in time to see his Nana hit him around the back of the head for messing around. He was flitting around the kitchen trying to find cooking utilities and ingredients for the pie, but at some point he’d managed to get himself coated in  layer of flour so whenever he moved it went flying through the air, covering everything else in flour. His Nana was looking at Stiles with a begrudging fondness, as she mashed fruit up and Derek just felt his heart twist.

"I need to go for a walk," he muttered, getting quickly to his feet and rushing from the room.

He needed to get a handle on himself. 


	4. Things Have to Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few things before this chapter - 
> 
> 1\. A brief reminder Laura is asexual/aromantic,
> 
> 2\. Hingham is a real place, it is not a shitty made up name for a place like my beta assumed (and beratted me for 'choosing such a shitty name'. Apologies if you're from Hingham, _I_ think your town name is lovely. Have I told you how pretty you look today?)
> 
> 3\. I made Derek a fainter, due to emotional stress. Please just go with it. 
> 
> I hope you guys like the chapter? :)

Derek thundered up the stairs, all the way to the third floor and into the small gym.

Erica was already in, doing weighted squats. Derek sighed, "Erica we've talked about this, you need a spotter if you're gonna do heavy weights." Erica ignored him, legs moving slowly and steadily. "Erica!"

"Derek, would you _back off!"_ she snapped, before standing up and shouldering the weights bar, "For the love of god, I am _fine!"_

Derek clenched his jaw, "I'm just trying to look out for you."

"Yeah, well I don't need it! I'm a big girl Der, I don't need another Mom," she yelled, spinning to face him. She was _furious_ , it couldn't be clearer if she'd scribbled it across her forehead in permanent marker.

Derek breathed deeply, counting to ten in his head before he spoke, "Now I know you're mad about the whole Boyd shit, but don't take it out on me, Er, you're not the only one with shit going on."

Derek watched as her face sank; the defensive aggression slowly being replaced by a crestfallen frown as she slumped down to the floor.

Derek sat down next to her, putting a hand on her shoulder as she took a deep shuddering breath.

 "I know, I know, it's just been a while since I saw mom and she's getting on at me about the whole Major thing and-"

"I know the feeling," Derek sighed, head tilted back.

Erica wrinkled her brow at him, "How on earth do you know the feeling? You're the golden child right now, everyone _adores_ Stiles. Nana likes him even more than she likes Jeffrey's wife, and she _loves_ Jeffrey's wife."

Erica was right, Jeffrey's wife was one of the nicest people Derek had ever met, and she and Jeffery had met, fallen in perfect love, then had a perfect wedding and gone on to have the perfect great grandson and perfect marriage. 

Being the oldest cousin, it really wasn't fair of Jeffery to have set the bar so high, Derek should've gotten Laura to have a word with him, or at least majorly fucked herself up to let the rest of them look better by comparison. It was a sacrifice for the greater good.

"She does not," Derek said back, but he was smiling before he remembered that it was all an act. He sighed and dragged a hand through his hair, "Christ, it's gonna kill her when we break up."

 "I think you're making the assumption that she'll take your side in the break up," Erica said, with a catlike grin. "Derek, when you two fake your break-up or whatever it is you're planning on doing when we all go home again, you're gonna have to get a new family; they've all adopted Stiles."

Derek groaned, resting his chin on his knees as he hugged his legs tight, " _Erica,_ what am I gonna do?"

"I dunno, say he cheated on you maybe?" she offered. 

Derek glared at her. "Not about that."

"Oh," Erica said, pausing. "So are we acknowledging this giant crush you've had on Stilinski then?" 

"It's gotten so much worse," Derek sighed. "Did I tell you I caught him jacking off the other day?"

"No!" Erica said, suddenly grinning, "Spill dude, where was it, when was it, I want the details!"

"Urgh," Derek groaned, trying not to picture Stiles spread out on his bed, fisting his cock furiously, locking eyes with him as he had come. "I came back from my run to find him... pleasuring himself."

Erica giggled, "What, _really?_ On your _bed?"_

" It's not funny," Derek growled. "It was so _awkward_ , I opened the door and he was so startled he came."

Erica let out a choking noise, Derek turned his head to glare but that just made her laugh more, head thrown back sending her hair flying, "Oh. My. _God."_

Derek decided to let her laugh herself out, before he finally turned and raised an eyebrow at her, "Are you done yet?"

"Yeah, I'm done."

"Good," Derek sighed, as Erica leaned her head into his shoulder, curls tickling down his arm. He ignored it and slung an arm around her, holding her tight. "I hate to ask, but what's happening with Boyd then?"

Erica sighed, "I dunno, he's called a few times."

"And?"

"I didn't pick up."

"Oh," Derek sighed. "I hope you know what you're doing."

"Me too, Der," she said softly. "Me too."

 

 

** ~ **

Derek didn't go on a run the next morning.

He had planned to, but then his alarm went off at 7 o'clock and Stiles was cuddled up into his side, shirtless and sleep pliant, and Derek couldn't quite bring himself to pull away. So he reached over, turned off the alarm and tucked himself around Stiles, they'd both agreed that they were sleep cuddlers anyway, and while it was a little awkward come the morning time Stiles hadn't been complaining yet.

Derek pulled his other arm around Stiles and twisted around to fully face him, holding him tightly as he drifted off back to sleep.

He was awoken by the drumroll at the beginning of Stiles alarm, and rapidly he untangled himself, rolling onto his back.

Stiles yawned, stretching before he reached over and turned off his phone. He dragged a hand across his sleepy eyes, before he stretched again, back arching off the mattress, sheets slipping down past Stiles hips so Derek could see the tell-tale morning wood bulge. Derek blushed, before he stretched himself, trying not to look too long at Stiles.

"So, dude, what's on the itinerary today?" Stiles asked perkily.

"Well you're gonna have to amuse yourself, I've got what can only be described as a 'crap ton' of work to do before we go home on Friday," Derek said. 

Stiles rolled his eyes, "That's no fun,  amuse me dude, you never told me that your hometown was even smaller than mine."

"I'm serious Stiles, I've gotta get this work done."

Stiles pouted.

"Go see Erica," Derek sighed, swinging his legs out of bed, "She's meant to be your BFF anyway. Oh and you're real BFF is here, bug him."

"Urgh, you're so grouchy in the morning," Stiles whined, following suit and getting to his feet. He bent down and picked up a loose sweater, pulling it over his shoulders, before frowning "Is this yours?"

Derek shrugged, "Maybe? I don't think it really matters though. C'mon, we better go to breakfast."

The headed out of the room and Stiles shuffled down the stairs behind him, slumping onto his back with a moan, " _Deeeerek_ , can you carry me?"

"No," Derek said immediately, before trying to shake off the Stiles barnacle he had acquired. 

"Deeeerek," Stiles whined again. Derek inhaled deeply and came to a stop on the bottom step. "Fine, hop on, I'll take you to the kitchen."

"Really?" Stiles asked, surprised.

"Don't make me change my mind," Derek warned, turning his head to look at Stiles who just grinned, before hopping onto Derek's back, legs wrapping around his hips. 

Derek carried him through to the kitchen, Stiles head resting gently on his shoulder and he was about to set him down when Caitlyn came running through.

"Derek! You gotta come see this!" she said, tugging on his sleeve.

"What?" Derek frowned, still holding onto Stiles.

She shook her head, and tugged on his hand again, "C'mon, you've gotta see it!"

Derek turned his head to look at Stiles, who shrugged as if to say 'how-should-I-know?'. Derek sighed, and followed after Caitlyn who had dashed out of the front door.

"I wonder wha- Whoa!" Stiles said, head jerking upwards as they stepped out into the garden.

Everyone was in the garden actually, heads staring upwards as they watched an airplane spell out the words "Erica, I love you!" in the sky.

Derek looked to Erica who was grinning from ear to ear, eyes fixed on the message left for her. Then, suddenly they saw a dark car come around the corner at the bottom of his drive. It occurred to Derek that he was still holding onto Stiles and probably should have put him down, but Stiles was almost  nuzzling into Derek's neck, and he couldn't bring himself to stop that.

Derek looked closely at the car working its way up the drive; he could see Boyd behind the wheel. The car pulled up and Boyd spiled out, before Erica ran over and flung herself around him, legs hitching around his waist as she laughed happily. Boyd grinned back at her, putting a hand behind her neck and pulling her down for a kiss. 

There were numerous people clearing their throats, but Erica and Boyd paid no notice, all too caught up in each other. Derek found he couldn't look away, captivated by the look of sheer _love_ between them, as sappy as it was.

Stiles sighed, still hanging onto Derek's back, Derek was trying not to focus on the way his legs were wrapped around his waist, or the flex of muscle in his arms. "I want sky writing too, Derek," he grinned.

Derek rolled his eyes. "We'e already dating, why would I get you sky writing?"

Stiles huffed and dug his knee into Derek's ribs, "Are we at that point already, babe? There's no _romance_ left."

"I'm not getting you damn sky writing," Derek said, exasperated edge creeping into his voice.

"All I'm saying is it would be nice to know you care," Stiles said Derek turned his head, and Stiles was grinning fondly at him. Derek laughed, and squeezed Stiles calf muscles. 

 "I do, Stiles, of course I do."

 

 

** ~ **

Derek was a practiced moper. 

He had honed his skills at the United College of Moping before graduating with a bachelors in Moping with a minor in disgruntled sighing by the time he was 18; he'd considered going on for a PHD but what with the job market being what it was he had decided it wasn't worth it. 

Right now however, Derek was supposed to be happily in love, and the only person who knew any different (other than Scott, and he got the vague feeling Scott hated his guts,) was currently so in love herself that 50% of her time was spent having awkwardly loud sex and the other 50% was in this hazy 'I-can't-be-fucked-with-your-bullshit' bubble. In fact, when Derek had tried to bring up his conflicting feelings about Stiles, she had just rolled her eyes, sighed loudly and muttered something about emotionally constipated boys.

Which Derek thought was rich coming from the girl who had spent the last 4 days sulking because her boyfriend refused to come and visit her family, rather than discussing the problem with him.

Whatever, the first time he had spoken to Erica about it she'd just held up her hands and said calmly, "Look, Derek, Stiles is my _friend,_ you are also my _friend_ , if I get in the middle of this, and god knows I want to, watching you two is _exhausting,_ then if it all blows up you guys can pin the blame on me and I really don't want that to happen, so why don't you put your big boy pants on and _talk_ to one another?'

 Obviously Erica was no use.

Derek was close to setting a new record on his bench press when Laura pushed open the gym door and stepped in.

"Can I help you?" Derek said, putting the bar back on the rest and sitting up. 

Laura sighed, "You look sad, Der."

"What? I'm tired, maybe because I just benched 250 pounds."

Laura sighed, and walked over, sitting next to him on the bench. "I know about Stiles."

Derek frowned, "What?"

"I know you're not dating him, and before you get all flustered and try to lie some more, I've known the entire time, I called Erica after you got off the phone to me and she said you weren't dating anyone."

Derek opened his mouth to argue, before he sighed and hung his head, "Who knows?"

"Me and Mom, that's all. I'll be honest, I found it pretty funny to watch until I started to see how gone on him you are."

"I'm not  gone on-"

"Shut it Der, you're completely ridiculously smitten, it's sickening."

Derek just sighed and shifted uncomfortably next to her.

"Tell him," Laura said simply.

Derek's head turned sharply, "What?"

"Tell him," Laura repeated. "Tell him you love him, make a giant fuckin' gesture if that's what it takes but I can't deal with you sulking like a teenager anymore."

Laura stood up and patted him on the shoulder, which caused him to slump forward and dip his head into his hands, letting out a low groan. 

Laura chuckled before she left the room, door clicking shut behind her.

 Derek was screwed.

 

 

** ~ **

Derek and Stiles were asleep in bed later when Isaac had called. 

Stiles let out a groan and swatted a hand over at the bedside table as Derek leapt across the bed, half landing on him in an effort to grab the cell and stop it before it woke the whole house. He answered without looking, bring the phone up to his ear and hissing quietly  "Hello?"

"God Derek," Stiles moaned, wiggling, "Get off my stomach. In fact get out the room, I want to sleep."

Derek sighed, and pushed himself up off of Stiles, wiggling out of bed and darting off to the bathroom. 

"Sorry," Derek said into the phone. "Who's this?"

" _It's Isaac, do you never check caller I.D. before answering?"_

"Isaac, it's like 1am,' Derek said quietly into the phone. He glanced around the bathroom and put down the toilet seat lid before sitting down. "I was trying to answer before you woke everyone up."

He imagined Isaac was rolling his eyes.

" _So who did I hear in bed with you?"_ Isaac asked coyly. Derek let out a quiet groan.

"Dude, not like you think, it was Stiles-"

_"Stiles, the guy you have the giant boner for?"_

Derek paused, before he let out a sigh, "Is it really that obvious?"

_"Uh, yeah, it kinda is."_

”You could've at least lied to spare my feelings," Derek said, petulantly. "Why are you calling me anyway, Isaac?"

  _"Boyd's there too now?"_ was Isaac’s reply. Derek put his face in his hands.

"Do you want to come here? I'm coming home in four days Isaac, if you really want to though."

_"No,"_ Isaac sighed, _"I'm just lonely I guess. Are you looking forward to your birthday dude?_ "

Derek sighed, rubbing the back of his head, "I haven't really though about it, to be honest. I mean, it's friday so we'll mostly be packing and saying goodbye to everyone anyway-"

" _Too hung up on Stiles to really focus on anything else, huh?_ " Isaac interrupted.

"Urgh, maybe a little," Derek admitted. "I'll talk to you all about it when I'm home, okay?"

_"Deal. Say hi to Scott for me, Der."_

"Will do," Derek agreed. "Bye Isaac."

_"Bye!"_

The line went dead. Derek sighed again, hung up the phone and hugged his knees up to his chest.

Only four more nights. Four more nights of sleeping next to Stiles and pretending he didn't mean it. 

Fuck, there was no way he could do that. Something had to change. 

 

 

** ~ **

While trying to get to sleep at 1 am with mostly asleep Stiles cuddling into his side, Derek decided he was gonna take Laura's advice. The worst that could happen was that he got shot down, right?

However, trying to get chocolates and a teddy bear without everyone knowing was more difficult than he thought it would be, considering he didn't have a car. Instead he pretended to sleep in, so that he could go for a run by himself later. Erica spotted him and said she wanted to go but Derek just claimed he couldn't wait, and ran out the door, water bottle in hand and twenty bucks stuffed into his sock.

 Hingham was a small town, so Derek ducked into the store to see what he could get. Stiles liked chocolate, right? Well he'd said he wanted cheesy  romance , so that was what Derek would get him. 

He found a stuffed bear on the reduced section, which was holding a heart and had a small hole on one of its hips, which made Derek laugh. He bought it and the biggest box of chocolate he could find, before he ran back home, teddy bear tucked under one arm. If Stiles wanted romance Derek would be the sappiest person on the world. 

He ducked into the house, bundling up the stairs trying to hide the carrier bag of shopping as well as he could. His room was empty so he dashed in, and threw the bag on the bed. 

He needed something to patch up the bears hip, so that it didn't leak stuffing everywhere. Derek frowned, before he yanked open one of his chest of drawers, half of the shirts wouldn't even fit him anymore anyway. He grabbed a green T-shirt, then picked up the sewing kit his mom had got him (and taught him to use) when he was 16, settling down on his bed with the bear in his lap.

He slowly stitched on the green patch, before lifting up the bear and frowning at it. The bear stared back at him, judgingly.

 "What do you know,' Derek muttered. "You're a bear."

He threw the bear down on the bed and fell back, running his hands over his face. This was a horrific idea, there was no  way that a stuffed bear and some candy was gonna win over Stiles, he should've tried to be unique, or-

"Hey Der," Stiles said, stepping into the room. Derek sat bolt upright, trying to hide the bear behind him. Stiles narrowed his eyes, "What's that?"

"Nothing," Derek said hastily.

"Derek," Stiles said, stepping forward. "Spill, what the hell are you hiding?"

Derek sighed, looking up at Stiles whose face was a mixture of curiosity and amusement. Derek reached behind him, and grabbed the teddy bear and got up to his feet, holding the bear out to Stiles.

"Here, uh, I got it for you-"

Stiles looked up at him sharply; holding the bear by the tips of his fingers, "Why did you get me a teddy bear, Derek?" his tone was sharp, clipped.

Oh shit, backpeddle, backpeddle immediately.

"Uh, you were saying about a big grand romantic gesture the other day-"

 "So what, you thought you'd make a big show of it, convince everyone we're for real?" Stiles hissed. Derek winced.

"No, uh, I thought it'd be _funny?"_ He tried, looking up to meet Stiles’ gaze.

Stiles looked _livid._

"Funny?" he repeated through gritted teeth.

"I mean... like you wanted the romantic gesture..."

Stiles let out a bitter laugh, looking down at the teddy in his hands, "Fuck, you got it an injured hip, isn't that fucking _precious?!"_ Stiles spat, before launching the teddy at Derek's head. Derek ducked out of reflex and the bear went bouncing behind his bed. 

"I didn't mean-"

"What, what didn't you mean? You didn't mean to make fun of me, personally? Or some shit like that?"

"No,  Stiles ," Derek tried, but Stiles wasn't letting him get a word in edgewise, too incensed with rage. 

"Fuck Derek, I thought you _weren't_ a dickwad," Stiles laughed hollowly, "Like, fuck, making fun of me after I've been so god damn  open with you? After I did this fucking favor for you?!"

"Stiles, I-"

"Save it," Stiles spat, grabbing his jacket from the bed and turning on his heel.

"Where are you going?!" Derek yelled, running out after Stiles who was thundering down the stairs.

'OUT!" Stiles yelled back, "Don't fuckin' wait up, _Sweetie."_

Stiles turned and gave him the most sarcastic, loathful grin Derek had ever seen, before he slammed the front door so hard the wall shook. 

Derek blinked, then looked up to see most of his family peering out at him. 

"Oh would you all just _fuck off_ ," he snapped, turning back around and slamming his door shut behind him. Derek sighed, sitting down on the floor with his back to the door, as he buried his head into his hands. He felt someone try and push the door open, but he didn't move, and eventually the knocking stopped, and Derek was left alone. 

 

 

** ~ **

Stiles was avoiding Derek, and he was _scarily_ good at it, Derek hadn't even _seen_ him except for first thing in the morning where he pretended to be asleep until Derek left the room. He went to bed long after Derek had gone to sleep, spent the day _somewhere_ in their house, probably with Scott and Allison in the den. 

It was Thursday, he only had two days to sort it out before they went home.

Derek didn't even know what had _happened_ between them, he thought Stiles had started to like him as a person at least, if not more than that. 

He pulled open the fridge and stared at it vacantly for a moment before closing it again.

"Lost, son?"

Derek turned to see his mother staring at him with a sympathetic smile on her face. "No, I just..."

"C'mon and I'll get us some toast," Talia said, pushing pat him into the kitchen and putting two slices of bread in the toaster. Derek sat down at the countertop obediently. 

"Is this about Stiles?" She asked immediately. 

"No.'

Talia sighed, and switched on the kettle, "Why don't you tell me all about it?"

Derek cross his arms over his chest, before he glanced up and caught his mother’s weary, familiar gaze. She sighed, "I'm waiting Derek, what happened?"

So Derek told her.

Derek told her _everything._

Derek told her about the months of Stiles crashing on his couch and eating all his food and just generally being infuriating. He told her about Laura and her stupid plan to set him up, he told her about Kate, and how he hadn't even been sure if he wanted to trust someone that much again. He told his mom about Laura showing up last minute, and Stiles agreeing to go out to dinner and pretend to be his boyfriend. About the awkwardness of sharing a bed, about how his heart kept pounding when he walked into a room, how he _hated_ how much Nana Hale loved him, because there was no way any future partner of his was going to match up. He told her about the teddy, and Stiles throwing it in his face.

He told her he thought he might've been falling for him.

"Well," Talia said finally, after a brief pause where Derek stopped talking. "I think you might need to tell _him_ all what you told me."

Derek sighed, pulling a hand through his hair, "That's what _Laura_ said." 

"Well she is my daughter," Talia pointed out with a grin.

Derek glared.

"Seriously, you have a great smile, Derek, and I may not think the most of Stiles, but he brought it out a little more."

Derek smiled weakly at his mom, before he got up and pulled her into a tight hug.

 

 

** ~ **

Even thought Derek's plan may have been to right things with Stiles, that didn't mean that he could actually find him all of a sudden. Whatever the hell was going through Stiles’ head wasn't something he wanted to share with Derek and he was going through some pretty extreme methods to keep it that way.

Derek stared at the door to the den. Stared wasn't the right word, Derek was full on _glaring_ at the wood, simultaneously hating Stiles and hating himself for not having the guts to knock on the damn door.

He lifted his hand again, wincing as he tried to pluck up the courage to knock when he heard Laura thundering down the stairs. He spun around quickly, shoving his hands behind his back in an attempt to look nonchalant. Laura looked at him, blinked, and then burst out laughing.

"Oh my god, your love life is so pathetic that it makes me feel _bad_ for you," she said, breezing down the stairs and edging past him towards the kitchen.

Derek snapped.

"I am _fucking sick_ of this Laura!" Derek yelled.

Laura froze, then slowly turned to face him, eyes wide.

"What?"

"I am sick of this, of _you_ , interfering and messing up my life! Calling me every week and bothering me about being single? That shit's _not_ okay! I'm a grown man Laura, if I think I'm not ready for a relationship then it is not your place to interfere.

"And another thing!" Derek continued, he was on a _roll_ , he'd _never_ yelled at Laura like that before. It was strangely liberating. "This whole fucking thing with Stiles! You could've put a stop to that before it even started! What, was it funny to watch me falling for someone? Is that why you left it? You found it terribly fucking _amusing_ to watch me fall in love and then have it all blow up in my face. _Again."_

Derek was being malicious now, he knew it, but he couldn't bring himself to stop. Laura was looking at him with wide eyes, "Derek!" she said frantically.

"What?!" he bit back.

Then his stomach plunged when he turned around to see Stiles standing behind him, eyes impossibly large. Fuck, Derek’s heart started to race, as he stepped back, clenching his hands. Maybe he hadn’t heard, maybe-

"You're in _love_ with me?!"

 Derek fainted. 

 

** ~ **

Derek had fainted a few times in his life. Once, when he got up on stage in High School to give his head boy speech and realized that his pants had torn straight up the back. Another time, when he caught Laura with her first boyfriend in _his_ bed, back when she thought she was straight, (she'd had to share with Cora for a few years to 'promote sisterly bonding.' Why they didn't do... _it_ in one of the  many spare rooms however, Derek had never managed to get an answer for.) He'd fainted when his dad had yelled for him to come help while he was doing some DIY and seen a nail sticking directly through the palm of his hand and he'd fainted when Cora had asked him for condoms when she was 16.

It was a thing he did occasionally.

However, passing out at the mere _sight_ of Stiles had to be definitely considered the most embarrassing thing he'd ever done.

He woke up in his bed, (his dad must've carried him up, which made Derek wince, because his dad was in his fifties, not an age where he should've been carrying around his 200 pound son,) with Laura sitting across his legs doing her nails.

"Oh my god," Derek groaned. "Did I pass out?"

"Yeah," Laura said absently. "Hit your head on the way down, pretty entertaining really. Stiles freaked out. There wasn't much blood, we think you're fine."

Mortification was coursing through his veins, and his head was pounding but he was pretty sure that was due to the large egg on the back of it. "Fuck, I've haven’t passed out in years."

"Two," Laura said promptly. "When Cora asked you about sex."

Derek ran his hands over his face, "Don't remind me about that, the only thing that made it worse was waking up and then having to go and get her condoms."

He glared at Laura who shrugged innocently back at him, "What, we're at Mom and Dad's house, unlike someone I don't have a condom stash in the bedside table. 

"Laura, you haven’t got a condom stash _anywhere_ anymore , hence why Cora came to me."

"Point," Laura conceded. 

They sat in amiable silence, Laura doing her nails while Derek pushed around things in his head. He sighed and sat up, pushing pillows up against the headboard. "Why are you so... involved in my love life?"

Laura frowned, before she screwed the lid back on her nail polish bottle. "I dunno, I guess since it's up to you to deliver the grandkids-" Derek snorted, and Laura glared at him, "I'm serious!  Look, I'm already enough of a disappointment to Mom and Dad-"

'Laura, you're not a _disappointment_ ," Derek interrupted.

"Yeah, I know, but-"

"No, no buts, Mom and Dad couldn't give two shits about your sexual orientation, or if you want to have kids or not, don't you dare think any other way."

Laura stayed quiet, and Derek sighed before reaching over and pulling her into a hug. 

He let go, and gave her a faint smile. "No buts, no one is disappointed in the fact you're not bringing home grand-babies and a husband."

Laura sighed, before quirking up an eyebrow, "What about Nana Hale?"

"Well she'll be a little disappointed," Derek grinned, "But I share a wall with Jeffery and his wife and I've been hearing her hurling a lot lately."

"What, really?" Laura asked, leaning forward excitedly. "Christ, that was fast, their first baby's not even 1 yet."

Derek shrugged, "Just saying what I could hear."

Laura sighed, leaning into Derek's shoulder. "Well I guess that'll keep the heat off of me for another two or three years. Who's next after Jeffery?"

"Uh, his little brother? He's your age, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Laura said thoughtfully, "I mean, is he not missing this holiday 'cause he's with his girlfriend?"

"I think so?" Derek said, before grinning at her. "See by the time he's having kids Nana's just gonna bypass you and go straight for me."

Laura twinkled at him, and leaned forward to press a kiss into his cheek. "Thanks Der, now I mean this in the least... _meddlingly_ possible sort of way; talk to Stiles. Please. For the love of god."

Derek quirked an eyebrow at her, before sighing, " _Fiiiine_."

Laura quickly got up to her feet and pulled open the door, "He's all yours, Stiles," and she sashayed from the room.

 Stiles awkwardly stuck his head into the room.  "Can I come in?"

Derek felt the embarrassment flare up again, but he swallowed and nodded. Stiles smiled slightly, head down before he padded into the room, pushing the door gently shut behind him and sitting himself down on the end of Derek's bed.

"So, I feel like we need to talk," Stiles said.

Derek nodded, gut clenching.

" _Apparently_ , you've had a crush on me for months, true or false?"

 "False-ish," Derek shrugged, "You infuriated me, but at the same time I kinda wanted to jump your bones."

Stiles grinned lopsidedly, "Sounds legit. I'm taking it then you got over your complete infuriation and started to love me in every way shape and form?"

Derek snorted, "You serious? Stiles you drive me nuts, like,  all of the time."

Stiles pouted.

'You're incessant, you kick me _continuously_ during the night and you told my Nana that we switch pitch," Derek's shoulders slumped sadly, "I can't believe she even knows what that _means_!"

Stiles gave him a genuine smile, before he ducked his head down, lifting a hand to rub his jaw, "Yeahhh, not my finest moment." Stiles paused and reached over to grab Derek's hand, "You fuckin' _love_ me though."

Derek squirmed slightly in his seat, "Uh, well..."

"Oh my god," Stiles said, rolling his eyes, before letting go of Derek's hand, shifting up onto his knees and putting a finger in the middle of his chest. " _You_. Are ridiculous."

“I’m ridiculous?” Derek asked incrediuosly. “I mean, I _tried_ to tell you-”

“When?" Stiles demanded.

"The other morning, after my run."

"What with the bear?” Stiles asked with a frown.

“Yeah, you said you wanted a grand gesture,” Derek said, lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck. “So I thought, y’know, it’s a bit cheesy, but you seemed all for the romantic gestures and then you just... flipped out!”

“I thought you were taking the piss!” Stiles said, arms flailing. "I thought you were laughing at my  _gigantic_ crush on you."

“You thought I was making fun of you?” Derek asked slowly. “Why? I didn't even know about your crush!”

“Oh I don’t know, the fact you bought me a stuffed teddy bear with a bad hip!” Stiles yelled, dragging a hand through his hair. “Dude, I’d been making passes at you all week, I was super obvious, and you hadn’t reciprocated, how was I supposed to know the bear was a Bear-With-Meaning?” 

Derek raised an eyebrow, “Bear-With-Meaning?”

Stiles rolled his eyes, “You know what I mean, anyway I thought you were being a dick, not being ridiculously sappy.”

“You’re a dick,” Derek mumbled, before looking up and smiling at Stiles, who was grinning back. "I put a lot of thought into that present."

“I promise,” Stiles said, shifting slightly towards Derek and laying a hand on his knee. “I’ll keep that damn bear super safe. I’ll cuddle it to sleep, I’ll buy it fuckin’ clothes and take it out with me shopping-”

“Captial D; Dick,” Derek mumbled, unable to stop from chuckling softly. 

“Oh yeah, baby, you want the D,” Stiles smirked. 

“I can’t believe you just said tha-"

Stiles grabbed Derek by the jaw and leaned down, kissing him firmly, probably more to shut him up than anything. Derek's eyes widened in surprise as Stiles pushed him backwards, and moved his legs either side of Derek's hips. Derek wormed his hands up Stiles’ sides, pulling him closer. Stiles’ tongue started to prod his lips, and slipping into his mouth. Derek groaned, hand slipping down to Stiles’ ass to push their hips together.

There was a pause where Stiles pulled away from the kiss, panting for breath. Derek opened his eyes, tilting his head slightly as he looked at Stiles

"Fuck," Stiles panted, grinning. "Sorry, just, I kinda love you too."

Then he leaned back, pushing his lips against Derek's once more. Derek was smiling into the kiss, no, smiling was the wrong word, Derek was _beaming_ , gripping Stiles’ ass firmly as Stiles fucking _writhed_ above him, chucking away to himself. 

'What's," Derek said, pulling away every so slightly and pressing their foreheads together, "So funny?"

"Nothing,' Stiles promised, pressing another kiss against his lips. "Everything is fucking perfect. God, why didn't you get all the hints I was throwing out, we could've been doing this  weeks ago."

Derek grinned, before he moved to start mouthing at Stiles neck, running his tongue down the vein feeling his pulse thrum, heart hammering away.  "What were these hints?" he asked. 

 Stiles _mewled_ , before sitting up, leaning back on his heels and leaning down to pull off his shirt. "Yeah, Derek, _hints._ Like inviting you to jerk me off, the sleep cuddling, y'know, _those hints,"_ he winked.

Derek swallowed, completely captivated by Stiles’ chest, fuck he'd seen him shirtless before but he'd never been allowed to  look. There was that patch of hair on his chest, the trail on his belly, god there was so much _hair_ on him. He wanted to write sonnets to it. He let his gaze trail down to the lip of his pajama pants.

Oh. Those pajama pants. Those  thin pajama pants.

Derek flicked his eyes back up to Stiles’ face and raised an eyebrow.

"What? Don't look at me like that dude, get that fucking shirt off!" Stiles said, but he was grinning. Derek rolled his eyes and sat up on his elbows, allowing Stiles to help him pull his top off and toss it to the ground, then Stiles was back on top of him and  god the way their skin dragged together was  delicious , and Derek could feel Stiles’ hard-on pressing into his and suddenly all Derek could focus on was getting his own jeans off. Was that too forward? He felt like that was too forward.

"Get your pants off," Stiles panted, before leaning down and tugging Derek's earlobe between his teeth.

Well then.

Derek let go of Stiles’ ass and Stiles pulled his hips away to allow Derek enough room to wiggle out of his jeans, but he was still pressing his lips incessantly into every inch of Derek's skin he could reach, his fingers trailing down to help Derek with his belt buckle.

Derek's hips jerked upwards the moment Stiles brushed his boner, and he hissed Stiles’ name through his teeth.

Stiles chuckled, "Someone's excited." He said as he ground his palm more firmly into Derek's erection. Derek let go of his jeans, hands clenching the sheets beneath him as Stiles trailed his lips down Derek's collar bone, pausing to suck a hickey into the hollow on Derek's neck.

"Urrrrgh," Derek groaned, throwing a hand over his eyes. Stiles grinned. 

"C'mon then, at least finish taking off your pants."

Derek glared at him, before he kicked off his jeans as best he could, finally freeing his legs and leaving him sitting under Stiles in only his boxers.

 Stiles dropped back down and started to lick down Derek's abs. Derek bit his lip so hard he tasted blood as he twisted his hands in the sheets, when Stiles grabbed the waistband Derek's boxers and looked up, meeting his gaze.

"Can I?" Stiles asked, running a tongue over his lips.

Derek nodded, swallowing, and Stiles grinned, starting to tug down Derek's underwear when suddenly there was a banging at the door.

They froze.

Pause.

More banging. Then; "STILES AND DEREK, STOP TOUCHING PENISES."

Stiles groaned, head falling forward onto Derek's stomach, pressing his erection between them. 

Derek let out a strangled gasp, and Stiles looked up at him, grinning wickedly. Derek shook his head manically as Stiles reached down and stuck out his tongue, before flicking it over the head of Derek's penis.

He couldn't contain the strangled grunt that escaped him, and the banging started again. Stiles looked up, waggling his eyebrows at Derek.

"OH MY GOD YOU TWO STOP IT, IT'S DINNER, CHRIST I WILL COME IN THEIR AND FROGMARCH YOU OUT," the person yelled, after the banging had stopped. It sounded like Erica, Derek mused idly as Stiles pulled away.

"You are  evil, " Derek hissed.

"C'mon Derek, it's dinner," Stiles sing-songed, reaching down to grab his shirt. Derek was slightly mollified to see he was horrendously hard, tenting his pajamas to a ridiculous degree. He caught Derek staring, before he pushed down his pants. 

Derek's mouth went dry. 

"C'mon, you gotta calm down dude," Stiles smirked, before grabbing a pair of boxers and jeans down off the floor and getting ready. Derek sighed, before he got himself out of bed and yanked up his boxers.

There was a final knock at the door, "If you guys aren't out here in two minutes I'm coming in!" Erica warned.

 

 

** ~ **

Stiles grabbed Derek's hand as they headed down the stairs, Erica following behind and rolling her eyes, but she still had a fond smile on her face. "You two are _sickening_ ," she said.

 Stiles looked back and smiled at Derek, "You hear that? We're _sickening._ I've always wanted to be sickening."

Derek rolled his eyes as they headed into the dining room where everyone was already sitting down looking pointedly at them with a mixture of exasperated and confusingly happy grins. 

Derek slid into a seat at the bottom of the table next to his dad and across from his Nana, Stiles sitting down next to him. 

"Uh, sorry guys," Stiles said, blushing.

"We're just glad you two made up," Nana Hale said, effectively breaking the tension, causing a ripple of _'ewwww''_ s around the table, as Talia appeared for the kitchen clutching a large pot of soup. 

They settled into dinner with ease, Stiles grabbing his hand between courses and rubbing his thumb over Derek's knuckles. 

Derek noticed his Nana watching them carefully, and he had no doubt that she knew they hadn't been dating before. He didn't know if she'd just figured it out, or if she'd known all along, and he didn't really care. She just gave him a slight nod and a smile, and Derek knew it was fine. 

"Did you two get over your fight then?" Cora piped up during the desert. Stiles looked over at Derek, and smiled.

“Yeah, you could say that," Derek said, grinning back before pressing a kiss to Stiles lips. Stiles kissed him back,  _hard_ _,_ ignoring the groans from everyone around the table. 

Neither of them could find it in themselves to care.

 

 

**End.**  


**Author's Note:**

> Join me on [tumblr](http://captainscruffywolf.tumblr.com) dudes :)
> 
> (Edit 09/08/13 - Authors Notes cleaned up)


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